Learning to Fly - A Saki Enomoto psuedo-route
by eurobeatjester
Summary: A psuedoroute featuring one of the April Fool's characters, Saki Enomoto. [Hisao x Saki]
1. Introduction

**Learning To Fly**

**A _Katawa Shoujo_ psuedo-route by EurobeatJester**

Thank you for taking the time to click on my little story. I greatly appreciate it!

Let me give an intro as to who I am and why I'm writing this.

_Katawa Shoujo_ had a tremendous impact on me, when I played it for the first time. I had just moved to a new city in summer of last year, a first for me. I had a tenuous promise of a job and had lived in my car for a while until then. I managed to get an apartment, and said job, but it wasn't what I was expecting. Financial crises kept popping up one after another and in October of last year, I was at the lowest point I have ever been in my life suffering from crippling depression. I would browse 4chan more out of boredom, and I kept seeing this thing called _Katawa Shoujo_ pop up from time to time on /b/ and /v/. I didn't know anything about it except it was a dating sim involving sex and cripped girls and it came from 4chan. I downloaded it, figuring it was something to do (and I couldn't hate myself any more) and I was expecting the worst, knowing the type of humor 4chan is known for.

I was not expecting what happened. I'm sure you've heard it from other people who have experienced the same thing. Because I went into it with my guard down, the game hit me like a freight train. The first route I got was Hanako's, and the defining moment for me when I realized that this experience was going to be different was at the end of the first act. Hanako tells Hisao she was burned in a fire, and the BG changes to a crayon drawing of a burning house and a crying girl - the exact type of thing that a therapist would have a child draw.

It took me three days to finish all five routes. While I liked some better than others, when I finished the last one, I remember looking at the title screen with everything filled in, and closing my laptop slowly. I was just in shock from the magnitude of what I just read. I was like a zombie for a good three days. The origins of KS hit me as hard as the story itself. I remember thinking specifically "If a group of strangers from 4chan, the cesspool of the internet, can come together and create this, and have it be so profound, then what the hell am I doing with my life?"

That was the kick in the ass I needed. I started to force myself to look at things positively. In the last year, I've made a bunch of new friends, am making more money at my job and enjoying it, have been losing weight and getting in shape, and overall am a much happier person both with life and myself. I won't say I don't have relapses from time to time, but even those are becoming fewer and farther between. _Katawa Shoujo_ wasn't the main reason for this, but it played a huge part.

Another reason why KS affected me as much is that I can relate to a lot of the themes in it. When I was a teenager, I suffered a neck injury that left me completely paralyzed from the neck down. I was told by doctors there was a good chance I was never going to walk again. I spent months in the hospital and a year in physical therapy and was extremely lucky. While I never did get all of it back, you'd never know except for a few small visual cues.

Years ago, before everything went to hell and I ended up homeless, I used to write. Original fiction, fanfiction, poetry, even technical articles as a freelance position, I loved it. I would sit down for ten to twelve hours straight with my fingers never leaving the keyboard except to eat and use the bathroom. And when things started to go bad, I stopped. I've decided I want to get back into writing, and the few things I have written the last year make me realize how rusty I am. Creative abilities such as writing and drawing are like muscles - if you don't exercise them regularly, they atrophy. I decided I wanted to get back into writing by starting with fanfiction. It's a wonderful tool, because you don't have to worry about worldbuilding or character design for the most part and can focus purely on a story and how it flows. I was thinking about what to write for, and I instantly decided I wanted to write something Katawa Shoujo related.

I knew of Rika and Saki from the April Fool's post, and I knew there were pseudo routes written by fans for other characters in the game, such as Miki and Suzu. I was drawn to Saki's character when I read the short description about her because there's not that much out there for her (compared to Rika) and that her condition would make a story very difficult to write. But I want to push myself with the challenge. I've been kicking this idea around for a few months and have the outline done and the story I want to tell. Over the past few months I've been researching, planning, and thinking, and I'm ready to finally start writing.

I don't know how often I'll be able to update this story, but I'll do my best. Life has been a bear recently dealing with work and some other issues, and I write in a very non-linear style. I tend to write and flesh out larger, major plot points first as the interactions come to my head, or I think of a line, and exchange, a description...and I then try to connect the dots. The beginning is always the hardest for me to write, because it's like that first mark on a clean sheet of paper.

This is a learning process for me as well, and also somewhat therapeutic for me as it's going to help me work out some unresolved feelings and issues from that time in my life. So please bear with me. I love constructive criticism and feedback as it helps me grow as a writer. I know that I'm not the first to write a Saki route, but I haven't read the other ones. I have a very clear idea for the character in my mind and I don't know if I trust myself as a writer enough yet to not have her personality in my story shaped on how others have perceived her.

_**So why Saki?**_

Saki Enomoto, as a concept, attracted me because she represents something I felt was really missing from the original game - the concept of mortality. I know that statement sounds counter intuitive given Hisao's condition, but hear me out.

I felt that in a few of the routes, the heart attack and arrhythmia was a plot device simply to get Hisao to Yamaku, and Hisao never really comes to grips with his own mortality or the fact that his heart is a ticking time bomb, and neither do any of the girls. Of the original cast of girls with disabilities, none of them are like Hisao in the aspect that their disability can/will shorten their own lives. All of them have normal lifespans, and if you follow through with the "happily ever after" aspect of the VN, none of the girls or even Hisao really discuss the fact that his reduced lifespan and risk of heart attack is something they'll have to deal with in the future as a couple. Random heart flutters while having sex or the heart attack in Lily's route aside, this was something I felt the original game lacked.

Saki flips that aspect completely on its head. Not only does she know she is going to die, but barring some unforseen circumstance with Hisao, she's going to die much younger than he will. It presents a view that Hisao is going to have to deal with that whatever canon girl he ends up with will have to deal with but never got around to doing in the original game, and in my opinion, a huge well of untapped potential as a writer and a reader.

Anyway, I hope that little essay hasn't scared you off. I've decided to write a few scenes in Act 1 for Saki, and then she goes into a unique Act 2. This is a bit different than what some other writers do, where they skip Act 1 altogether.

Standard disclaimer stuff. I do not own _Katawa Shoujo._ All credits go to the 4LS team.

This piece of fanfiction is only authorized to be published here on and on the official Katawa Shoujo forums.

Thanks in advance for reading, I appreciate it.


	2. Act 1: Detour

**Act 1, Scene 1: **

**"Detour"**

_(This takes place in the middle of Act 1, after Hisao's conversation with Mutou about learning to deal with the disabilities of the other students. Misha barges in and asks for help finding plywood and other supplies, and Mutou encourages Hisao to give her a hand. Instead of heading right down to the art room (where he meets Rin) he instead decides to start his search in a different area.)_

Aaaaand I'm lost.

Overall, it's not that bad. I just got here to Yamaku a few days ago, and with the process of settling in, I haven't had much of a chance to look around. Ever since I introduced myself to the class, Shizune and Misha seem to have been monopolizing what little free time I have. I appreciate them making the effort to make me feel welcome, but it can be a little exhausting.

This time though, I'm thankful for their interruption. Misha barging in saved me from a fairly uncomfortable conversation with Mutou. Not knowing what else to do, I decided to help Misha with finding what she needed, without realizing how much knowledge of my surroundings I would need to actually do this.

Thus the reason I'm wandering aimlessly around campus.

I find myself actually enjoying the walk around the grounds. I haven't been able to do much of that in the last few months, and the afternoon sun on my skin and slight breeze running over me make me close my eyes and inhale the clean air deeply in appreciation. It's such a stark change from the environment that was my existence until only recently. The sterile air that always had an undertone of harsh chemicals and antiseptic. The precisely controlled temperature with no variation at all.

When was the last time I did this? It feels like a lifetime ago.

I let my breath out in a heavy sigh, opening my eyes to look around me and take stock.

Yamaku is actually larger than one would think a normal school would be, and much larger than my old one. I'm not sure just how large it is yet. I've seen glimpses of a running track and athletic field out of the window in class, and there are a few other buildings scattered around the garden than just the dorms and the two I've been in. I know the important things like homeroom in the main building, the dorms, the cafeteria, and the nurse's office in one of the auxiliary buildings. Nurse and the dynamic duo mentioned something about a swimming pool as well. Maybe I'll find it if I keep wandering around.

As I walk down the pathway towards the building towards Nurse's office, I begin to think a bit more about the school and the people I've met so far, reflecting on Mutou's words. I stumbled in on Lilly, and that was...pretty nice. It was the first time since I got to Yamaku that I actually was able to let my guard down and relax a bit. I had a very brief conversation with Hanako in the library and then spoke with Yuuko, who can only be described as "intriguing." Then there's Kenji...

I decide I don't want to think about Kenji right now, and make a mental note to follow that policy as much as possible.

I stop in front of the auxiliary building, next to a large tree planted in a hole in the concrete sidewalk. There are a few here in a line, almost as if forming a barrier between this building and the rest of the complex. I see a few students milling about by themselves or casually talking in groups of two or three. Considering the school day is over, I wonder if they belong to the clubs I was hearing about?

Another glance at the front of the building has me seeing a sign emblazoned over the main entrance that I didn't notice yesterday.

"Performing arts center. Huh," I mumble to myself. Don't see how I missed that earlier. I look down at the list Misha had given me, giving it a thorough read for the first time. Even if I can find all this stuff, how am I supposed to lug it back to the student council room?

Well, this is the performing arts area, I reason while scratching my head. Maybe if Yamaku has a theatre department, they'll have some plywood for their sets or know where to get some. If I'm lucky I'll find an art classroom here as well since Shizune specified she needed no less than five different colors of paint.

"Excuse me," says a voice behind me. "Are you lost?"

Startled out of my musing, I turn around and see the source of the voice. One of the female students is staring at me with a slightly quizzical amused look on her face.

"Um," I manage to stammer out, "...I guess I am. I'm new here."

"What are you looking for?" she asks, not unkindly, with a quick look down at the paper I'm holding. Her head tilts to the side for a second, waiting for a response. It can't hurt to ask, I think to myself.

"I guess I'm an errand boy for the student council right now. They sent me to fetch a few things they need for the festival stall, and I was trying to figure out where to find them," I say, somewhat sheepishly. She gives a small nod of acknowledgment and holds out her free hand expectantly for the list. As I give it to her, I get a few seconds to look at her and see why she only had one hand free.

She's a few inches shorter than me, with a cute face framed by light chestnut hair that reaches down just past her shoulders. She's wearing the standard Yamaku uniform, but instead of white stockings like Lilly or black stockings like Hanako, she's wearing a pair of dark black socks that come up to just below her knees, and standard brown shoes...which aren't alone in touching the ground. My eyes shift to her left hand, and the cane she holds. Unlike Lily's which is very skinny, this one looks like it's built more for support, especially from the fact the loop on the handle is firmly encircling her wrist.

The most striking feature, though, are a pair of honey colored eyes peeking out from her neatly brushed bangs. They're filled with an eagerness and intensity as they fly over the paper, practically twinkling as I notice the gears in her brain turning.

"Well," she says, fixing that gaze on me and handing me the list back. "You can probably find most of this in one of the art rooms." It's said lightly, but that look of amusement hasn't left her eyes yet. Strangely, it's disarming.

"I thought as much," I reply, "but I'm not quite sure where that is. I thought it may be in this building, since it says 'arts' right in the title."

She laughs. "A lot of people think that, but this isn't where the art rooms are. This is for the theatre and musical departments. Drama, band, choir, things like that. That's why that side of the building is so large," she says, pointing towards its far end. "That's the main auditorium for different performances and school assemblies. We call it 'the PAC' for short." She brushes a stray lock of hair back over her ear, revealing a small red earring dangling down. "There's also the main medical offices at the other end."

"Ah, yeah. I've already met the nurse," I explain. "He's...interesting."

She laughs again. "Oh you don't know the half of it. He has a bit of a reputation around here. I can show you where the main art room is. I'm in the art club and I need to head there anyway," she offers, looking at me expectantly. "I just need to grab one thing here first."

"That would be great, actually. I still don't know my way around this place yet. It's only my third day," I explain apologetically. "Yamaku is a lot larger than I expected."

"If there's anything you want to know, just ask," she says. "It's pretty easy to get around once you know the place. Here, I'll show you what's inside."

She starts to head towards the lobby door, with me easily falling into place beside her. I'm drawn to noticing the very slight limp she has, and also the practiced ease with which she moves with it. I suddenly realize that I've gotten this far in a conversation and don't even know who I'm talking to.

"Thanks," I say, maybe a little too formally. "You know, I didn't get your name."

"It's Saki," she replies, turning her head towards me and smiling. "Saki Enomoto. What's yours?"

"Hisao Nakai," I give, trying to match the genuine tone in her voice with my own and finding it surprisingly easy. I take a step ahead and pull open the door for her.

"It's nice to meet you, and thank you," she says as she steps through, with me following closely behind. The foyer is modest as I look around, with a few scattered chair and benches, a wall with a brightly painted mural, and large doorways leading off to other areas of the building. I see a few others sitting around the room, either chatting in hushed tones with their peers or their noses intently in books. Two look up and wave in our direction, and Saki waves back.

"This way," she gestures, moving towards the door on her right. I see the lettering on it right before she opens it, indicating it's the music room. "I'll only take a minute. I hope I'm not keeping you from anything."

"Don't worry, I have nowhere else to be, really."

Saki pulls open the door before I have a chance to open it for her, and quickly slips inside. I take the lull to look around and take in my surroundings. The corkboard on the wall next to me draws my attention. Looks like the festival is mentioned about half a dozen times. It seems that everyone in the school is getting involved in one way or another, and I guess it only makes sense that the performing arts departments would put on a show.

True to her word, after about thirty seconds, I hear the door open again next to me. Saki comes back out again, cane in one hand, and a case in the other. It only takes me a second to see that it's an instrument...a violin or a fiddle, maybe?

"Got what you came for?" I inquire, indicating the case in her hand. She nods happily and we start back towards the entrance to the building. When we get to the door, instead of holding it open for her, I get another idea that just randomly pops into my head. "Would you like me to carry that for you?"

"Are you sure?" she frowns.

"No problem. You're showing me how to get to the art room, it's the least I can do, right?"

"Thank you," she answers, with a sincerity to her voice as she hands me the case. It weighs more than I expected, but then again, I'm no expert in these types of things. How much should one of these weigh? I put the question idly in the back of my mind while we start making our way back across the campus.

"So, Hisao," Saki starts, skipping normal formalities and calling me by my first name, "you said this is your third day at Yamaku? How do you like it so far?"

"It's...different. It's a lot to take in at once, I guess. Between moving and having to deal with Shizune and Misha running me ragged-"

"Oh, it's those two?" Saki says, with a sympathetic groan.

"You know them?" I asked surprised.

"Trust me, those two are known all over the school," she clarifies in knowing dismay. "Anyone within a quarter mile of Misha knows she's there, and wherever she is, Shizune is too."

I find myself laughing before I can stop it. She completely nailed Misha there...but it does present another question. "Well Misha is a given, but how do you know Shizune if you aren't in our class?"

"We had the same homeroom last year," she explains. "Plus I have to deal with her from time to time when we do different events through the year. She means well, but the way she tries to inject herself into everything can be very..."

"...taxing?" I offer.

"I had a few different words in mind, but that's certainly one way of putting it," she says with a hint of annoyance. "Just be careful, before you know it you'll be on the student council. She tries that with almost everybody."

I groan internally. "You have _no_ idea," I mumble under my breath.

Saki gives a little evil chuckle. "Uh oh, is she already trying to sink her claws into you? Be careful, it's going to get worse before it gets better. That girl loves a challenge."

"I've noticed," I submit, my shoulders slumping in an exaggerated sigh.

The next few minutes pass by with idle chitchat. I ask Saki about the festival, since I'm new and it's coming up fast. It seems to be a really big deal for everyone.

"For some people, it is," Saki agrees. "Others couldn't care less. I guess it just depends on the moods of the people here and the ones that come."

"What do you mean?"

"Honestly," Saki hesitates, "I probably wouldn't go at all if we weren't performing." A bit of enthusiasm goes out of her expression as she continues. "I was there last year, and while it was fun, I don't know the best way to describe it." She slows down for a second and looks off back in the direction we came, almost to see if there was someone behind us as she lowers her voice. "It's...the school, Hisao. More the guests themselves really. We put on the festival, because it's a normal thing to do, and most of the people that show up are fine, but there are others who just..."

That same lock of hair has slipped down again, so she reaches up to tuck it back while she pauses momentarily. When she speaks again, her voice takes on a matter-of-fact tone.

"Yamaku's not a normal school, and those people go out of their way so hard to make us feel normal. The worst ones are the ones who pat themselves on the back for coming, showing that they're concerned, and 'look at how progressive I am by coming here.' You can see it in their eyes, the way they talk, even the way they move. It's a smugness and it's just...sickening."

Her words give me pause, not because of their frank nature, but because of the way they strike a chord deep within me. She just summed up and put into words the nagging feeling I had sensed during my stay in the hospital. A feeling and attitude that I started to get from my friends when they came to visit me. Something I couldn't pinpoint, something out of reach, but something that felt wrong somehow.

"Sorry!" she says, startled. "I guess I didn't realize how dark that got for a second. Don't mind me. Those people are pretty few and far between." She takes a deep breath, and exhales it with a smile, the light shining in her eyes again. "Shall we keep going?" she inquires. "We're almost there."

And indeed we are. Without realizing it, we were almost to the entrance of the main building.

"Please don't tell me it's in here," I lament, hanging my head.

"Yep," Saki says. "It's upstairs. Why?"

"So's my homeroom," I reply, shaking my head. "Well, I suppose the walk was refreshing."

Saki laughs, a soft pleasant sound. "You got to see more of the school at least," she says, as I hold open the main door for her to walk through. She turns her head slightly and gives a nod of thanks as she crosses the threshold.

I'm surprised with how empty the building seems to be. Every time I've been through here it's been bustling with faculty and staff, but there's only the random person to be seen. Everyone must want to leave the classrooms as quickly as possible after the final bell rings. I start to turn towards the elevator, when Saki surprises me. She's making a beeline for the stairs, as if she was completely oblivious to its existence.

With deliberate, practiced motions, she places her right hand on the banister and starts up them, slowly but surely. Using her cane for balance as she lifts it up one step, followed by a foot, and then repeating the process with the opposite leg. It's not until she's on the midway landing and turns to look at me do I realize I've been staring. My face flushes red in embarrassment, Mutou's and Yuuko's words replaying themselves in my head.

"You coming?" she says, choosing to purposefully overlook or ignore my transgression. In fact, she has a knowing grin on her face. She waits with her hand still on the banister, looking at me with a mischievous sparkle in her eyes. When I turn my face away from hers, she giggles lightly.

"I'm sorry," I apologize, my voice thick with shame. "It's just..."

"You're new here?" Saki answers softly. "It's okay. Everyone needs some time to adjust here. And I don't just mean to the school. I'm sorry too, but when I saw your face like that, I couldn't help it."

"Does that happen often?" I say, starting up after her as she continues.

"Once in a while, but usually once. Just don't ask me to go hiking too far. Stairs aren't that difficult, just slow."

We both reach the top at about the same time, which opens up into the now familiar hallway. Down to the right is my classroom, and down to the left...is where Saki points. "This way, furthest door down on the left."

"Great," I say with exasperation. "Sure took the long road in getting here..."

"Yes, but if you didn't take the long way you would have made me carry that thing all by myself," Saki chides, looking down at her case as we start towards the end of the hall.

"What's in here, anyway? It's a bit heavier than I thought it would be."

"My violin," she responds, our footsteps steady, accompanied by the soft click her cane makes ever time it touches the ground. "I'm also in band."

"And the art club?" I say, with a mixture of surprise and admiration. "That seems like it would be quite the schedule."

"I like to keep myself busy," she replies with a shrug. "Besides, it's fun and it helps."

Helps with what? That's the last thing I ponder as she reaches the door and opens it.


	3. Act 1: Port in a Storm

**Act 1, Scene 2: **

**"Port In A Storm"**

I've always held the belief that every human, rooted deep down, has some sort of morbid curiosity in the macabre. Whether it's watching the news cycles constantly focused on the bad things that happen in the world, to reading a story where the main character suffers misfortune, or the way traffic slows down to view an accident even when there's no physical impediment. You can't turn away when you see something happening; you're either transfixed in horror on the moment in question, or from some sick desire to see it carry out.

Either way, it's fascinating on some deeply primal level. And this is how I find myself now, watching Lilly and Shizune at each others throats.

It started innocently enough. I had woken up too early and couldn't get back to sleep. Not really knowing what else to do, I got dressed and headed to my class through the nearly deserted school. I was the only one there, sitting at my desk when Lilly stopped by, just as bedraggled as I was. We barely had time to discuss anything before Misha and Shizune walked into the room. I think someone said something about the student council budget, and then all hell broke loose.

It's surreal. Shizune is looking like an avenging angel, her hands and fingers moving so fast they're a blur. Misha is translating everything she's saying, but with none of the implied inflection. Lilly is as steadfast as a statue, only winding up Shizune further.

"'Tell me the names of those two students. They should have your job if you can't even handle something this simple yourself,'" Misha explains, completely oblivious to how fast this is heating up.

Lilly lets the first hint of annoyance bleed into her tone. "One form isn't the full extent of what I am supposed to take care of." While she's not giving any indication Shizune can pick up on in regard to how exasperated she's becoming, Shizune looks about ready to jump up and down in excitement. Her hands fly in another nearly invisible maelstrom.

"'Of course, you do so much, class rep~! It must be so difficult being you~!'"

Lilly's lips press together, clearly understanding the insult. She looks ready to fire back.

"I was actually just discussing the budget report before you came by," she starts, her voice stern and cold. "You must be very talented to have finished all your student council duties so quickly that you can track me down to make sure I don't forget my own."

"'Are you accusing me of slacking off?'" Misha translates. "'It seems like you're confusing me with yourself~!'"

"I don't think so," Lilly replies. "That would be a very difficult thing for me to do; comparing myself to you."

"'You're right, the difference between us is like heaven and hell.'"

"And it's not hard to guess which one you might represent."

You can cut the enmity in the air with a knife as they stare each other down. The irritation in Lilly's demeanor has been replaced with genuine anger, something very unsettling to see. Shizune has a self congratulatory smirk on her face, clearly enjoying this. Not only did she find something to criticize Lilly on, but she's breaking through Lilly's steady fascade. Even Misha looks like she's beginning to understand the real nature of this conversation.

Shizune then fixes that gaze on me, and I'm left dumbfounded like a deer in the headlights.

"'Hicchan~! Don't you slack off either~!'" Misha says, pointing at me, still faithfully doing her duty even while a look of doubt starts to spread across her face.

"Wait a minute," I hear myself say. "What do I have to do with this?"

"'Aren't you taking part in the festival, Hicchan? You are, aren't you? Then~!'" Misha pauses, waiting for Shizune to finish her next flourish. "'I hope you're going to do a lot more to make sure it goes smoothly than this person~!'"

I immediately feel my face redden at the unfairness of that remark. "Don't drag me into this. I've done more than enough to help out with the festival, I think. If you're angry at Lilly, that has nothing to do with me," I snap back, instantly wishing I had phrased that better.

"Now, wait just a second," Lilly says, her own temper finding me as a target. "Are you implying the president is more right in scolding me than yourself?"

Oh for the love of...

"I didn't say that," I say with an exasperated sigh. "All I'm saying is-"

"Hello?" I hear a vaguely familiar voice speak from the doorway. Four heads snap in the direction of the sound to see a girl standing at the door, one hand on the frame as she leans her head in. Her other hand holds her cane a few inches inside the classroom, as if held at the ready to defend her at a moments notice from the hostility in the room.

I may have never been so happy to see someone in my life as I am at that exact moment.

Shizune's eyes narrow as she signs tersely to Misha. It's obvious she doesn't like interruption, although I can't tell if it's because it may undermine the upper hand she has on Lilly.

"'Miss Enomoto~!'" Misha says, her usual enthusiasm back. "'What do you think you're doing here?'"

Saki makes eye contact with me briefly before glancing at the others. "I was trying to find some help and I heard voices as I was walking down the hall."

So did everyone currently in the school, I think to myself with a slight grimace.

"What's up, Saki?" I ask, trying not to make my eagerness at the subject change too obvious.

"We need a few more things from one of the art rooms to finish our stall for Sunday," Saki explains. "We were going to work on it after school so I came to see if I could find what we needed, but if I could get some help taking it to the band room right now it would save some time. Do you think I could borrow Hisao for a few minutes?"

Shizune throws her hands up in the air when Misha translates this, and starts signing back to the pink haired girl.

"'You're not done either? I can't believe I'm the only one who seems to be taking this seriously~!' Hey, that's not fair, Shicchan," Misha suddenly says, looking hurt. "I work hard too!" As the two of them start heatedly conversing among themselves, I notice Saki lean slightly against the door frame, revealing that this isn't at all startling to her. Given what she told me about having Shizune in her class last year, I imagine these outbursts of hers are quite familiar.

"Lilly," Saki says in a friendly greeting, completely ignoring the other two girls for the moment. "I think Mr. Nomiya said you were using them for your class when I asked him about it yesterday."

"Ah, that's right," Lilly remembers, her eyes turning towards the sound of Saki's voice. "We were finishing up our signs. I believe most of them are done, although I don't know for sure. Things have been rather...hectic as of late," she finishes with a frown.

"'This is unacceptable~!'" Misha's voice returns to full volume, having finished her private conversation with Shizune. "'This festival is imperative to the morale of the school. Everybody works hard to make sure it goes smooth and establishes a sense of community! Too many people don't take it seriously and the entire school suffers for it~!'"

"In case you've forgotten, _miss_ President, we're not just running a booth. We're also performing to raise money for the year end recital," Saki retorts, giving Shizune a completely deadpan stare. "We're _very_ busy with both things, so surely you can _understand_ if we may not have everything done as fast as the other classes."

While I know that the beautiful inflection behind those words will be lost on Shizune, I'm left in awe with how artfully she wove that degree of sarcasm into them. Sure enough, I see Lilly trying very hard to suppress a smile, having not missed a beat. Shizune picks up on this and scowls angrily behind her glasses.

"'Why do you need help? Can't you find what you need on your own?'"

Saki moves her cane and raps it twice against one of the metal legs of the nearest desk. The loud _**clung-clung**_ makes Lilly, Misha, and I visibly jump. "Because it's _heavy,_" she says, pushing the right mixture of hurt and concern into her voice. "Surely, you don't expect someone like _me_ to carry it all by myself?" The pouting look she gives is so exaggerated that it's all I can do to keep from grinning like an idiot.

"I would hope not," Lilly says, before Shizune has a chance to respond, quick at the chance to pay her back with her own coin.

"I'll help," I exclaim, pushing my desk chair back and standing up. "There's a while before class starts anyway."

"Great," Saki replies happily, her face lighting up. "It shouldn't be too much, just some paint and posterboard, I think." Seeing that Misha is translating every word of this to Shizune, she continues. "Not only would it be a big help to our club, but to the festival as well."

Shizune folds her arms and stares daggers, which I imagine is her equivalent of being left speechless. It's obvious she isn't used to being dismissed like this.

As soon as I enter the hallway, I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. Saki and I manage to get a few steps down the hall before I can hear Misha and Lilly arguing again.

"Thank you," I say gratefully, falling in step beside her and matching her pace.

Saki lets out a sigh of her own. "Lucky for you I came by. What started all that, anyway?"

"I'm not sure. I think it had to do with the festival budget. The two of them were going at it before I could really figure out what that meant and I wasn't fully awake yet."

Saki gives a small snort of derision. "Shizune's always like that whenever there's a big project," she explains. "All the other classes are supposed to submit budget requests so she can keep track of the treasury. She comes down on anyone who doesn't get it done as fast as she does."

"Your club had to submit a budget too?"

"Oh yes. It's not just classes that have stalls, but several clubs do too. They do it to raise money," she clarifies. "We have a recital at the end of the year so that's what we're focusing on. Even though I gave Shizune our budget yesterday, she still got on my case about taking so long."

"It almost looks like she enjoys it," I venture. "I don't think I've ever met someone more competitive than she is."

"She's good at what she does, but I just wish she wasn't so damned arrogant about it," Saki mutters. "She loves to rub it in people's faces whenever she gets the chance."

By now we've reached the end of the hallway at the entrance to the art room, and I hold open the door for her as she steps inside. When I follow, the wall of cold air that hits me makes me shiver for a second. The room is bathed in a bright light as the rising sun streams through the windows, catching a few stray specs of dust drifting lazily in its beams.

"I have to say," I start, shaking off the momentary chill, "I still can't wrap my head around that little stunt you pulled back there. I've never seen Shizune completely shut down like that."

Saki laughs as she rests her cane against one of the desks, crouching down to pull open the drawer beneath it. "She's really easy to wind up if you know how. She was like that all last year when I was with her." I hear papers and heavier objects being shuffled around. "I don't think she's used to having other people stand up to her."

I lean back on another desk, folding my arms. "Well, I've tried standing up to her about the student council thing. She's persistent, but I never thought she was acting mean towards me."

"Oh hoh," Saki says with amusement, closing the drawer and standing up, empty handed. "That's because you're a challenge and there's something she wants right now."

"Let me guess; me joining the council?"

"Bingo," she says, moving to the next desk down the row to repeat the process. "She's nice enough when she wants something," she continues with a grunt as she struggles to open the drawer. "But when someone who stands up to her just doesn't agree with her, you get...that."

I hear her curse in frustration as her search appears to turn up fruitless. "What are you looking for, anyway?" I ask her as she straightens herself up and brushes her hands on the front of her skirt.

"Mr. Nomiya keeps a packet of stencils that we sometimes use to make signs," she answers, scanning the room looking for any place they might be hidden. "I was supposed to grab them yesterday but Lilly's class was using them." Her brow furrows as she starts towards the back of the room, her hand gliding atop the desks for support in lieu of her cane. "Can you help me check the back cabinets? They have to be here somewhere. They should be in a blue box."

I head towards the second cabinet as she reaches the first and pull it open. I'm instantly assaulted by an array of supplies staring back at me. Brushes, paint cans, blank canvases, blank poster board, several bottles of strong smelling chemicals, and about a dozen boxes on the bottom splattered with paint.

"How big is it? There's a few in here." I squint to get a closer look, and see the top box on the stack is indeed a dark blue accented with a few red and white stains. "Is this it?" I ask, wrapping my arms around it and hoisting it out.

Saki moves over to me after closing the door of her own cabinet. "Looks like it," she says as I set the box down. She reaches over and pulls the lid off, revealing a deep stack of thick cardstock cut into a variety of shapes. Every sheet has been coated and re-coated with so many colors that any one could be its own piece of abstract art. As she lifts out a few to make sure, I can see why they were being used yesterday. With all of Lilly's fellow students either completely or partially blind, having stencils like this would make the job of decorating their signs much easier.

Satisfied, she puts the contents back in the box and reapplies the lid. "We have everything else, so this should do it, I think."

"Wait a minute, you needed me to carry just this," I say, pointing to the object in question, "and that's it?"

"Yeah," Saki replies. "You don't expect me to carry something heavy that far either, do you?"

I sigh in resignation and hoist the box up under one arm. "Is there anyone that doesn't work on?"

"Not many," she admits. Almost as an afterthought, she moves to my open cabinet and pulls out a few rolled up pieces of poster board. "There, does this make you feel better?" Saki asks as she tucks them firmly under her own arm. The look she gives me waiting for my approval leaves me laughing and shaking my head.

"Alright, you win," I say, trying to hold on to some of my dignity. "You're lucky I happen to be such a nice, helpful guy."

"Really?" Saki pouts. "And here I thought you actually wanted to help. I could have simply left you back there, you know."

I realize my smile has never quite left my face since I started laughing. I was never really one for witty banter even before my heart attack, and the hospital pretty much killed whatever knack I had for it. This conversation, this short exchange – it's something I'm grateful for. The ease with which Saki holds and drives a conversation, the subtle back and forth, the good-natured ribbing, while not seeming to take anything too seriously – it's drawing something out of me I hadn't even realized I'd lost.

Saki's reminding me that I have a sense of humor.

I shudder for emphasis. "I am now and eternally in your debt," I say, bowing gravely. Saki responds with her own laugh; a light, airy sound.

"That's kind of a cute thing of you to say, but being too cute has its drawbacks too," she manages while giggling.

"Oh?" I say, lifting my eyes to look up at hers, those mischievous sparks dancing in their amber depths. "How so?"

Saki's smile turns a bit softer. "People might start to take advantage of you if you make it look that easy."

I straighten up as Saki moves back to the front of the room to retrieve her cane. "You're probably right. Shizune, Misha, _you,_" I point out, following behind her.

"I never claimed to be a good person."

"No, just an opportunistic one."

"You're learning," she replies with approval, looking back at me with that impish smile again. She shoulders open the door and holds it with her foot for me, given that my hands are full. "But, if it makes you feel better, when you agreed to help me I decided I'd treat you to breakfast this morning."

When we leave the art room I no longer hear any sounds coming from my classroom, so we turn towards the center of the building. This time however, Saki heads in the direction of the elevator. She notices the look of puzzlement on my face.

"Remember when I told you that if there was anything you wanted to know, all you had to do was ask?" she says, raising an eyebrow. Her directness catches me off guard.

"Um," I manage, suddenly very uncomfortable. I still don't know what the etiquette is for this, and I'm scared I may have done something wrong. "I just...remembered you taking the stairs earlier."

"Oh, climbing stairs is easy," Saki says lightheartedly. "Going down them though, that can be dangerous." She reaches over and presses the button on the wall, and I hear the machinery behind the metal doors come to life. "Especially with both hands full."

"I see," I reply, not able to completely shake the unease I'm feeling towards myself.

With a ding that echoes through the empty hall, the elevator doors slide open and we step inside.

The walk across the school is fairly uneventful. Saki and I walk side by side, breathing in the fresh morning air. While there's no doubt that spring is here, the morning cold has just enough bite to make your lungs tingle. The grass glistens with thousands of tiny droplets, and the rising sun casts long strange shadows that cling to everything they touch. The only sounds are our footsteps, a few birds singing in the trees, and an occasional voice carried on the wind from some distant conversation as the grounds start to wake.

I also take a few moments to think a bit more about Yamaku in general. I've tried to face this whole situation with a positive attitude, but there's still so much about this that seems strange to me. The school, being away from home, the other students, the medical staff...

...and myself. I find myself most alien of all.

Four months after my attack, and it still doesn't seem real at times. More than once this week I've let my mind wander and find myself forgetting about where I am and how I got here. I'll almost feel normal. And then something will happen.

I'll see a sign with directions to the nurse's office. I'll see an emergency defibrillator on the wall next to a fire extinguisher. I'll see a student with a cane, or a missing limb, or in a wheelchair, or with some other disability that I don't know whether to acknowledge or ignore.

And suddenly it all comes crashing back at once.

The worst ones are the reminders that involve myself. I'll lose myself in a book and lean back to stretch, pulling at the puckered scar on my chest. I'll be studying the homework Mutou has given us, and look up to see all my bottles of medication a foot away from me on the desk, lined up like little toy soldiers. I'll take a shower and step out feeling refreshed, and then catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Fortunately, that last one only happened once.

The one that's shaken me up the most happened this morning. I was in bed, my bed, in that blissful state where you're aware but not awake. I buried myself deeper under the covers, not wanting to wake up, but looking forward to the new day. Idly wondering for a split second if Mom had made breakfast or if I'd have to fend for myself, wondering how long I could sleep in before having to run to make it to school on time, wondering if I remembered to do all my schoolwork assigned yesterday.

When I finally opened my eyes, for two full seconds I didn't know where I was.

I think that's the reason I found myself at my class so early. There was no going back to sleep after that.

Even now, I'm still inwardly horrified at the slip ups I've made around my fellow students. I'm still walking on eggshells around so many of them despite what Yuuko and Mutou have said to me. Even something as simple as watching a girl with a cane climb a flight of stairs fills me with guilt when I get caught at it.

I take another look at Saki, who's half a pace ahead of me. She moves with her cane as if it's an extension of her body, never missing a beat with it. Her strides are cautious yet even, always making sure she has at least two points of contact with the ground. She's not even leaning into it heavily like I've seen some other students do. But remembering her in the art room and on the stairs makes me realize that she's using the cane for balance more than for favoring a weakened leg.

What caused her to end up at Yamaku? Why does she need that cane? How long has she been like this?

You're doing it again, I chide myself silently.

I don't have any outward appearances that would give people a clue why I was here. I'm not blind like Lilly, or scarred like Hanako. I'm not missing my arms like Rin. I'm not sitting in a wheelchair or wearing an artificial leg. Rin was the only one I've met so far who openly asked me about my condition, since it wasn't obvious. But with the exception of her, I haven't been asked by anybody outside of those who already knew about it like Mutou and the nurse.

Perhaps Mutou and Yuuko are right. These things are only as big of a deal as you make them out to be. Everyone ends up here at Yamaku for a reason, and it seems that everyone knows it and accepts it. It's not something that's taboo, or the topic of the day. It just...is.

"You okay?" Saki's voice pierces through my train of thought. I notice with a start I've fallen a few feet behind her.

"Yeah, sorry," I apologize, taking two long strides to catch up to her. She seems to accept this answer with a nod and we keep walking, the PAC building drawing closer.

Saki stops suddenly, her eyes growing wide in recognition. She cups her hands to her mouth and shouts out towards another student near the entrance.

"Chisato!"

A girl with short, raven-colored hair turns around at the voice, her face a mask of confusion before she sees Saki. Waving, she starts to lightly jog over to meet us.

"Saki! What are you doing here so early?" the other girl says as she bounds up. "Classes aren't supposed to start for almost an hour."

"I got the stencils from the art room," Saki explains, craning her head in my direction. "Well, actually, he has them."

"Oh!" Her green eyes opening wide as she seems to notice me for the first time. "I'm sorry! My name is Chisato Souma," she says, bowing deeply.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Hisao Nakai," I say, returning both the bow and the greeting. I can't help but idly compare how similar this encounter is to the one I had with Yuuko earlier. I wonder how many more times this process is going to repeat itself this week.

To my surprise, a mixture of shock and recognition crosses her eyes.

"So this is Hisao Nakai?" Chisato asks, addressing Saki. She just gives a slight nod with that knowing smile of hers.

Chisato gives me a coy look. Oh, great. What exactly have the two of them been talking about? I never know how to react in situations like this.

"So..." I say uncertainly. "Saki's mentioned me, has she?" I cast a sidelong glance at her. She shamelessly meets my gaze and raises a brow.

"Don't worry," Chisato laughs. "She hasn't said anything bad. Just telling me about a new guy she met."

"Uh...huh." Before I can ponder this further, Saki speaks up.

"Chisato, can you take these to the band room? Hisao and I need to get back to class before it starts. I'll swing by later to help finish up with the booth, okay?"

"Sure!" Chisato says, reaching to take both the posterboard Saki has and the box I'm carrying. She easily scoops them up in her arms. "I'll see you later Saki, Nakai." She gives a small nod in our direction and turns around to head back to the building.

"She seems...nice," I manage to get out, not knowing what else to say but feeling I should say something.

"She's in band with me," Saki says, still clearly amused with the whole exchange and my reaction to it. "We've been friends for a few years now."

"What exactly did you tell her about me?"

Saki's amused grin breaks into a fit of laughter. "Nothing!" she insists. "I didn't say anything except that you were a new student who helped me out the other day. That's all. I swear!"

"I don't think I believe you," I say, sighing in defeat. "But I don't think I'll be able to prove it."

Her laugh dies down to a chuckle. "Oh come on, don't be like that. Besides, Chisato saved us some time. Now we can go get breakfast."

For the third or fourth time this week, I feel completely dragged along by events that are out of my control. You think I'd be used to it now.

"Where to? The cafeteria?" I ask, resigning myself.

"There's no place else, is there?"

"I'm the new guy. You tell me."

"Nope, there isn't. Shall we?" she asks, turning back towards the main building, beckoning me to follow.

My stomach makes its presence known with the imminent promise of food. "Lead the way."


	4. Act 1: Electric Daisies

**Act 1, Scene 3: **

**"Electric Daisies"**

_**BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP**_

The alarm clock sears through my head with all the subtlety of a speeding train. I reflexively flop over, fumbling blindly to smash it, but to no avail. I clip the corner of it, and it makes a leap for safety – right down behind my nightstand. To add insult to injury, I hear rattling as it takes several pill bottles with it.

I groan and clench my teeth as the electronic taunting continues. I hoped I would have at least hit the snooze button during those theatrics.

I sit up and swing my legs out over the edge of the bed in one swift motion, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible. Standing, I lean over the edge of the nightstand to see the cruel red display staring maliciously back at me. It takes a few seconds, but I'm finally able to silence it and put it back in its place along with half of my medications.

It takes a few more seconds for the cobwebs in my head to completely clear. There's no class today, so I had set the alarm for a bit later than I usually would. Still, I didn't think I'd actually sleep in until eleven. I guess the rigors of this first week at Yamaku ended up taking a bigger toll on me than I thought.

I stretch, the sore muscles in my back protesting. My sleep schedule still isn't normal, so I find myself waking up either incredibly early like the time Saki rescued me from Shizune, or I find myself barely making it to class. I idly wonder if part of it could be because of my medication as I wrestle with the top of a bottle. Maybe I should talk to Nurse about it.

Yawning, I step over to the window and take a look outside. Not only is it Sunday, but it's the day of the festival as well. I can see a few people lingering around between the various booths and stalls set up, half of which have to be students. Maybe it's still early for too many people to show up. I didn't really have any plans for the day myself. There are a few tests this next week I need to study for, but I shouldn't have a problem with them.

I hear some shouting drift up from down below and look to see a group setting up rows of seating before the stage. I gave them a hand in setting it up yesterday because Saki asked me to, but I didn't realize they were setting it up right under my window. I notice Chisato directing a pair of fellow students with chairs under their arms with the precision of someone on the flight deck of an aircraft carrier.

Saki had roped me into helping yesterday purely by chance, or at least, that's what she'd claim if questioned. I had woken up insanely early, and was unable to get back to sleep. I had surrendered to the thought of it being a long day and decided to take a walk around campus to kill time before classes started, something I've started doing more recently this week. I ran into Saki completely by coincidence over by the arts wing, heading back towards her dorm carrying a gym bag over her shoulder. Joining her on the walk back, I found out she had a morning routine of heading to the school pool early before the day truly started. I didn't think much of it, equating it to my morning walk or Emi's morning runs.

After she dropped her bag off, we grabbed breakfast again in the cafeteria and I asked her how the festival preparations were going. Between bites of bland eggs and burnt toast I learned everything was nearly ready except setting up the collapsible stage for the performance tomorrow.

Without thinking, I asked if there was anything I could do to help, and sure enough, hours later I was wrestling with lengths of pipe and various hand tools.

Okay...maybe I exaggerated when I say she roped me into it.

My stomach growls as I finish taking the last of my morning medications. I should probably head down to get something to eat; I'm curious to check out the festival anyway, and I'd like to see the band performance later, especially after skinning my knuckles setting up the stage yesterday.

* * *

After buying a plastic plate of takoyaki from a stall belonging to the class next to ours, I take a seat in the school gardens and watch people pass by as I dig in. It's a bit bland, but I shouldn't complain as it was fairly cheap and does a good job of curbing my appetite.

As I sit there nibbling, I notice that the school grounds are getting more crowded as people file in. I see families of children excitedly dragging their parents around from one event to the next, filled with energy from the sugary treats they carry. Some people are parents or guardians of students, as evidenced by someone in uniform showing them around and pointing out various things. Still others are there by themselves, and I can't help but notice most of these are in an older age bracket. Come to think of it, I noticed that earlier in the week when I went down into town to go shopping.

This must be one of those towns where the only people left are those that lived here their whole lives and refuse to leave, or those wanting to live out the rest of their lives in one of the increasingly few tranquil places. That must be one of the reasons Yamaku's atmosphere is so easygoing and laid back. Not that I mind one bit. I like how calming Yamaku is, especially after what happened to land me here.

The humidity, though, is another matter entirely. I can already feel my shirt starting to stick to my back where I'm leaning against-

_Gah!_

I'm shaken from my thoughts by a loud clanging of bells blaring from the school's PA system. I stand up, and a few of the people near me share my reaction. I hear the principal make a garbled announcement over it, officially declaring the opening of the festival, already well in full swing. The statement draws varied responses from the people around me. Some smile, others groan, and interestingly enough most of the students I see don't react at all. I imagine they wouldn't, given they've been in the festival mindset for the last week. Still, everyone gives polite applause after the voice goes silent before going back to whatever it was they were doing.

I stare down at the now empty plate, wondering how I'm going to spend my day. I could go get another plate of takoyaki; this one wasn't that bad. I heard there's fireworks at the end of the day, but that's later. Rin was working frantically at her mural up until the last moment. I could go see how that turned out. I could go see what time band is having its performance. I could check out some of the games that have been set up. Or I could just retreat back to someplace quiet like the rooftop or the library.

Still undecided but opting to move, I throw the plate into a trashbin and lose myself among the flow of people. They all seem to be heading towards the main school building, which seems as good a place to start as any.

As we draw closer, I'm actually surprised to see how many stalls have been set up around the perimeter of the main building. A few clubs and classes must have opted to have more than one booth. I see stalls hosting all the standard games one would find at a festival, along with all the low quality foods that are just as much of a staple.

I decide to start over by the booth on the end of the line and make my way down. I hear an excited shriek and general applause as I get closer from the people gathered around it, but I can't make out the reason. A few seconds later, a small girl darts into view holding a plastic jar with a goldfish in it, awkwardly running in her excitement as her parents take long strides to keep up. I have to make a quick sidestep to avoid being crashed into.

Completely oblivious, the girl careens on, the poor fish being shaken like a baby rattle. The mother gives an apologetic nod as she passes me.

"Hisao!"

I turn back towards the stall, the gap in humanity letting me get a clearer view of who's running it. I see Saki rising to her feet, her lower body being blocked out by a very large fish tank at waist level. She waves to me and I find myself waving back as I pick up my pace.

"So, this is what the band is up to?" I say, coming to a stop in front of the booth. I stare down at the tank to see the surface rippling with the cream and orange bodies of dozens of small goldfish. Saki had mentioned that the band was setting up a stall during her argument with Shizune earlier in the week, but I honestly didn't know what type of stall it was going to be. I haven't seen one of these games in years! Taking in the rest of the surroundings, I see a few boxes of paper nets near the back of the booth, along with some colorful banners explaining the rules to those not familiar.

"Yep! At least for a while," Saki says. "We have that booth over there too," she continues, pointing to the one next to us. A quick glance shows a ring toss game of some sort.

"Two?" I say, impressed. "You weren't kidding about being busy."

"We're not on our own," she explains, brushing a stray lock of hair out of her eyes. "The whole arts wing has these few booths and we're rotating shifts during the day. Band's running the show for another...hour," she says, turning her wrist to look at a small golden watch. "Then drama takes it over while we have our performance."

"That seems fair."

"It would be, if half the people bothered showing up," Saki mutters darkly. Just as quickly as the cloud descends on her face, it lights up again as she looks off to the side. "Sorry," she says apologetically to me, "but it looks like we have someone who wants to try!"

Next to me I see a young boy gawking wide-eyed at the fish tank, completely hypnotized by the motions of the creatures within. Saki bends her knees to bring herself to eye level with him across the top of the tank, getting his attention. "Would you like to try and catch one?" she asks cheerfully.

His eyes get bigger as they make contact with Saki's. "Can I?" he asks, in wonderment.

"Mhmm!" Saki affirms, nodding. "That is," she hesitates, turning that thousand-watt smile towards the couple standing behind the boy, "if it's okay with your parents?"

The child looks up towards his mom, his face plastered with the purest look of expectation and longing I think I've ever seen. What makes it even better is that Saki joins her gaze with his, matching his expression perfectly. It's all I can do to keep from bursting out laughing.

What mother could stand up under that barrage? Not this one. She sighs as she hands over a few paper notes to Saki while the boy gives an enthusiastic clap of his hands and emits a squeal of delight. Saki turns and puts the money away into a box behind the counter, then turns back with a paper net already in hand.

"Now, be careful!" she says as she hands over the net. "Pick one you like, but choose a good one! If you let the net stay in the water it gets weaker, and if you try to pick one that's too big he may break out!"

With laser like precision, he homes in on one he likes and dips the net in. Sensing danger, the target fish makes a beeline for the other side of the tank when the net approaches. The boy's brow furrows in concentration as he gives chase. After a few seconds of epic struggle, he pins the fish against the side of the glass!

"You got him!" Saki encourages. "Now just lift the net up carefully..."

The boy follows the advice and actually manages to get the net above the surface of the water, when in one final desperate act, the goldfish flails violently and tears through the fragile paper. It lands back in the tank with an audible plop, clearly imitating the youngster's spirits.

All four of us watching give a small disappointed "oooh," as the fish dives at full speed towards the safety at the bottom of the tank. The boy looks absolutely crushed. "I almost had him!" he exclaims, staring intently at the one that got away.

Saki gives the parents a wink over the top of their son's head, then crouches down to his level again. "That was so close! Do you think you could get him if you tried again?"

"Yes!" he answers at once.

"Alright! One more time then!" she says, matching his enthusiasm. Reaching one hand under the counter, she pulls out another net. This net looks a little different, although I can't quite put my finger on why before the boy snatches it and dunks it in, intent on round two.

The fish gives a valiant fight, but in the end gets pinned against the glass again. The boy lifts it out of the water, and at the critical moment, it starts to thrash around again. This time, it isn't so lucky. The paper holds, despite the desperate movements.

"I got him, mommy!" he shouts, full of accomplishment. Saki takes the net from him and swiftly deposits his prize into a waiting jar.

"Good job!" Saki praises, carefully handing him the fish. "Now make sure to keep him in a nice clean bowl and feed him every day, okay?"

"I will!" he says, taking the jar with both hands. The father looks amused at the whole situation, having not said a word the entire exchange up to this point.

"Come on, Yutaka," he says, taking his son by his free hand. "Let's see some more and then we'll take him home, okay?"

"Okay dad!" Yutaka replies, all smiles. "Thank you!" he says to Saki, bowing slightly before dragging his parents away, high on his recent victory.

I'm just left there staring at what just happened. Saki grabs a nearby towel and wipes the water off her hands. She puts both the net and the towel underneath the counter again when she notices me looking at her.

"Okay," I say, narrowing my eyes. "What just happened?"

"What?" Saki answers, staring at me with an innocent grin. Too innocent.

"That net..."

Saki laughs. "Oh, that? Maybe he was just really lucky..."

The stare I give her lets her know I'm not buying it for a second. This only causes her to laugh harder.

"Uh huh," I prod. "And are you going to tell you didn't help at all?"

"Will you believe me if I say no?"

"Probably not."

"Then it doesn't matter what I answer, does it?"

I sigh, admitting defeat, and move to change the topic of conversation. "When did you set all this up? I didn't see you when we were putting up the stage yesterday, _which,_ I may point out, _you_ asked for _my_ help with."

Without missing a beat, she responds. "Just because I wasn't there doesn't mean I wasn't busy. And besides, _you_ should know better than to ask me to lift heavy objects by now." She pauses for a moment, and raises an eyebrow. "You wouldn't want me to tattle on you to Shizune that you weren't giving a hundred percent, would you?"

"Alright, _alright,_" I say, holding up my hands. "You win. You're welcome, by the way."

"Honestly, I do appreciate it," she sighs tiredly, all the playfulness gone from her tone. "We're not the only ones using it today either."

"Where did the fish come from?" I ask, staring at the darting figures again.

"We get them in bulk down at the pet store in town. They're cheap because they use them as feeder fish. The jars are just from a food service place, and we order the nets online."

"What do you do with the leftover fish at the end of the night?" There's many more fish in the tank than there are jars from what I can see, unless there's a hidden cache that I'm not seeing.

"We've already paid for them," Saki explains, "so we just end up giving them away at the end of the festival to anyone who wants one, or two, or ten." With another sigh, she sits down on one of the folding chairs and starts to fan herself with a piece of paper.

I notice her forehead is slightly damp. It looks like the humidity and heat might be getting to her too.

"What time did you get to sleep last night? You look completely drained," I observe.

"Not that late, but I was up pretty early. Nobody's been getting much sleep this week," she says. "The preparations for the festival have been pretty hectic, plus I've had to practice with the rest of band for our show in a bit." She yawns. "I'll be glad when it's over. I might just skip out on the rest of the festival and go straight to bed."

I lean against the edge of the stall, feeling my own lack of sleep catching up with me after hearing her mention it. "Aren't you supposed to run the booth for the rest of the day after you play?" I ask.

Saki snorts derisively. "Let Chisato do it. She was supposed to be here already helping me, but she had to go set up chairs. I know she wasn't doing it by herself, and it doesn't take four hours even if she was by herself."

"Four _hours?_ Ouch," I wince in sympathy. "Don't tell me you've been here the whole time."

"Since about eight, yeah," she answers.

"So you haven't had anything to eat?" I ask, alarmed.

"No, not since last night. Yet another reason I'm going to bash Chisato over the head with my violin the next time I see her," Saki growls.

"Do you want to get something? Or I can get something for you, if you want."

Saki looks genuinely grateful for a second at the gesture, then looks around to see who else is manning the adjacent booths, considering her options. Her gaze settles on another student that I've seen earlier during the week – a girl around Saki's height with long purple hair pulled up into small loops on either side of her head.

"Noriko?" Saki asks, getting her attention. The girl snaps her head around with a surprised "hm?"

"I'm completely famished...do you mind if I cut out a bit early to get some food before the performance starts?"

Noriko ponders this for a moment while looking at the various interest people are taking in their booths. "Sure," she finally says in a small voice. "I don't think it should be too much to handle."

"Thanks! I owe you," Saki responds. She quickly retrieves her cane from the back of her chair and sits on the edge of the booth, swinging first one over followed by the other. She holds out her hand expectantly towards me, waiting for me to help her up. I oblige.

"So," I ask casually, putting a hand in my pocket. "What are you in the mood for?"

"The fattiest, greasiest thing I can get," she answers, her eyes twinkling as visions of sugar plums dance in her head.

I laugh. "So basically, the worst stuff for you that you can find?"

"Screw being healthy. I need the calories. What, you don't want to try whatever deep fried horror someone came up with this year?"

I grimace in revulsion. "Ugh, no thanks."

"Oh come on," Saki says teasingly. "It's not like it's going to give you a heart attack."

_...ouch._

Both my mind and my body come to a screeching halt when I hear that. Suddenly, with that simple sentence, all the joy and fun of the day fly out of my head with reckless abandon...and ever present at the edge of my consciousness, the dark thoughts I've been keeping at bay are more than eager to fill the empty space.

Saki, for her part, has no idea what she just said. Nor would she, as the topic of my reason for being in Yamaku has never seem to come up in the chats we've had the last week. Nevertheless, the sudden stop and palpable change in mood from me is enough to clue her in that something is wrong. She stops half a step in front of me and turns towards me, confusion written on her face.

"Hisao...?" she questions tentatively.

"No," I say, trying to shrug it off but failing miserably with my tone. "No, I guess it wouldn't, would it?"

Saki's amber eyes look at me with an intensity I've never seen before, searching me, probing me. Her brow furrows slightly as I can see her mind racing to figure out what this means. A quick glance at my chest – almost too fast for me to see, if I wasn't staring back at her – and I can almost read her thoughts as she stares through me. I've done this same routine in the mirror more than once this last week. I know what she sees.

An outwardly healthy looking boy. No missing eyes, ears, limbs, or anything else like that. No walker, wheelchair, or cane to get around. Transferred suddenly to Yamaku after the year had already started. Transferring in the middle of the third year means something serious and sudden must have happened. And yet, you'd never know from looking on the outside. The only logical conclusion based on this – and my reaction to what was just said - is that I ended up at Yamaku because of something to do with my heart.

Almost as if I was speaking aloud, Saki finally puts enough pieces of the puzzle together as I finish my internal monologue. Her eyes go wide and she brings her free hand up to her mouth.

"Oh, Jesus." she says softly. "I'm sorry Hisao...I didn't realize..."

"It's okay," I answer quickly. "I mean, it's not like I told you..."

And yet, I can't help but think...why _didn't_ I bring it up sooner? It's not like I didn't have plenty of chances to earlier. I haven't really told anyone except for Rin who asked outright. I suppose I'm one of the lucky (hah) few that you really wouldn't be able to tell what the "problem" was.

I look around at the people around us, feeling desperately uncomfortable. Sadly, this doesn't seem to help my mood at all. I can see their looks, both at the school in general and towards the other students in particular. The way they openly gawk when someone has their back to them, but then quickly turn away when the object of their attention turns in their direction, as if guilty of being caught.

I feel uncomfortably hot. Whether it's from the noonday heat or from the intensity of the stares I just know are being leveled at me. At least with Saki people can see her cane. With me, it's almost as if it's a challenge. _What's wrong with __**that**__ one?_

This is going downhill fast.

"I think I'm still getting used to it myself," I offer up lamely.

"Weelllll..." Saki drawls, a slight smile coming to her lips in an attempt to cheer me up. "You can't use the 'new guy' excuse forever, you know." Her eyes grow softer, as does her voice. "You learn to adjust to...all of it."

"I guess so," I admit. "It just...gets to me at times. But still, baby steps, right?"

"Speaking of steps," she says, turning her body back towards the food stalls and inclining her head to make sure I get the hint, "Can we keep walking? I'm still starving."

And just like that...the oppressive atmosphere deflates. How does she manage to switch from carefree to serious and back again in the span of an eyeblink? Can she really simply brush off these types of things that easily?

I guess you could, if you've gotten used to it. Or maybe her sense of humor is much drier and darker than my own.

"Um, sure," I stammer out quickly when I realize I haven't answered her question. We resume our course towards a food stall at the other end of the building.

"Can I ask you a question?" I ask Saki as I fall into step besides her. This might not be the wisest thing to ask, but I can't stop myself from asking it.

"Hm?" she mutters, turning her face towards mine to give me her undivided attention.

"Why...why didn't you ask? Why I'm here. At Yamaku, I mean," I stammer, the words fighting desperately to not leave my mouth.

Saki's brow creases for a second as she considers the question, her mood changing slightly. "I just figured you'd tell me if you wanted to," she puts simply, in a matter-of-fact tone that seems to scold me for thinking the answer would be anything but. "You haven't asked me about my cane either. I've seen you looking at it, and me, and every time I catch you at it, you look so guilty."

I rub the back of my neck, feeling more guilty than ever as my face heats up.

"Still stuck on it that much?" Saki asks when I give no reply. She stops and waits for me to face her before continuing.

"Okay. Look, Hisao," she starts, her tone deadly serious. "You can't tiptoe around people like this. Or yourself. Everyone here has a reason that they're here." She points down the walkway towards a student in a wheelchair being pushed by a family member. "Sometimes it's obvious." She gestures with her eyes towards my chest. "Sometimes it's not. I don't know what exactly happened to you, but please, take it from someone who's been where you are for a lot longer than you have been. We're not normal. And that's fine."

"Saki..." I blurt, too stunned at her outburst to say anything. She just continues rolling on right over me.

"I know it takes time to adjust. But you know what? Purposely going out of your way to treat someone like they're some sort of, I don't know, 'extra-normal' person makes them feel ten times worse, and just rubs it in that they aren't." Her voice lowers as she glances around. "We all get enough of that from the people around us. So don't _you_ start doing it too. Not even to yourself. Especially not to yourself," she finishes, with a voice filled with intensity.

My first reaction is anger.

My second reaction is that she's right.

"I..."

...can't manage a reply.

Saki sighs and turns her eyes away from me. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to sound so harsh. It's just..."

I wait for a few seconds before she continues, her voice much softer than before, with a twinge of regret.

"So many people that end up here fall into the same trap," she says, closing her eyes. "Some are like Lilly, or Shizune, or Rin, where they're born with issues so they haven't lost anything. Then others come here because they lost everything. Car crash, heart attack, diving accident, some doctor tells them there's a tumor in their brain that will kill them before they're thirty...it doesn't matter what happens, just that it does."

She pauses for a breath, letting it out slowly, as if trying to order her thoughts in her head before speaking again.

"They get here, they run into people who try to treat them like they're made of glass, and they shut down. They never accept what happens because people around them keep trying to sweep it under the rug like it never happened. So they feel like failures because they can't get over it when everyone is trying to tell them they should. And they just...give up." She shakes her head. "Nobody says_ 'It's okay to feel sorry for yourself once in a while. It's okay to think that whatever happened to you isn't fair. It's okay to get pissed off and cry and scream and punch a wall or throw something.'_ So they get into their own little world of pity and never come out of it. I don't want to see that happen to you, Hisao."

I'm stunned. Really, that's the only word I can use to describe it, and it's so inadequate.

In the months since my heart attack, everyone around me – my parents, my friends, my doctors, even Iwanako – they all tried their best to cheer me up, to make me feel normal. And it was painfully obvious when it was forced. Saki's completely right – it did start to wear at me. They even tried to be optimistic about Yamaku, saying it was an opportunity. By that point I was so pissed off and wallowing in self pity that I was resenting every good-natured attempt around me.

By trying their best to make sure the full weight of what happened never hit me, I still haven't truly been able to _mourn_ for anything I've lost.

Thinking back, I did deal with a small handful of people during my hospital stay that were frank and open with me, and I appreciated it. I even find Mutou's concerns and Nurse's lecturing refreshing, by contrast to the way people were treating me beforehand. They haven't tried to avoid or tiptoe around my issues, or the problems of anyone else, for that matter.

By addressing those issues, they just make them another part of everyday life and not some black sheep or elephant in the room.

There's a very large difference between someone telling you what you want to hear, and someone telling you what you need to hear. Sometimes, you don't even recognize the difference until someone does...well..._that._

"Thank you," I say, a small smile coming to my face with the sheer irony and absurdity of it all. "I needed to hear that."

"Damn straight you did," Saki chastises. My smile turns into a laugh, just like it always seems to do when talking with her.

Saki and I continue down the path towards what appears to be the largest food stall, dodging people moving in the other direction. I can tell we're getting closer from the smells and the increasing number of people with various plates in their hands.

"How about this one?" I say, pointing to it. The large variety of signs advertise all different types of traditional and fair-exclusive foods at what look to be decent prices.

"Looks good to me," Saki agrees. The two of us find what appears to be the back of the line and park ourselves in it.

"So," I ask, idly craning my neck around the people in front of us to scan the menus, "Is it the whole band that's playing today or is it just a few people?"

"We're all doing a few songs together first, then a few people are doing their own thing."

"Oh?" I respond, turning towards her. "Are you doing anything like that?"

"Yep." She smiles. "Chisato and I are doing a piece we've worked on before."

I realize that while I know Saki plays the violin, I've never seen Chisato with a case that holds her own instrument, or even what that instrument would be. "Really? What does she play?"

"Chisato plays the piano. Well, not today, obviously. We drag the keyboard out for that."

"Oh thank god. I thought you were going to ask me to move a piano next," I joke. The band room had a rather large one in the corner that I had seen when I popped my head in. I could only imagine how much it weighed.

"Only at the end of the year. That thing's a bitch to move but we do it for the concert we put on. Makes it more authentic, I guess. At least it's on wheels..." Saki's voice trails off, her focus returning back to the menu as we move up in line. I recognize a familiar face behind the stall, in an intense discussion with another student. Well, maybe not technically a face as it's turned away from me, but there's no mistaking that blonde hair and black ribbon.

"This must be Lilly's booth," I mention to Saki. Looking closer, I recognize the precision of the lettering on the signs could only be done with the same stencils that were used on the game booth.

"Oh wow, if this is 3-2's booth, they really outdid themselves this year," Saki replies, giving the size of the booth another appreciative glance. "This has to be twice the size of the one they usually have."

"Maybe they combined it this year with another class like yours did?" I ponder aloud, stepping forward again as the person in front of us wanders off with a bowl of soup.

"Could be," Saki mutters as we find ourselves at the front of the line. Lilly turns in our direction to address us without stepping up to the order window.

"I apologize, I'll be with you in a moment," she says, her voice a little ragged to anyone who knows her well enough to pick up on it. Otherwise, she's putting up a very good front to hide that things most likely aren't going as expected. I see her counting off on her fingers, her eyebrows knitting in concentration. Finally, she turns back towards us.

"How can I help you?" she asks in her usual pleasant, if strained, tone.

"Hi, Lilly," I say, both as a way of greeting and a way to let her know it's me. Her face lights up in mild surprise.

"Hisao?" she questions tentatively.

"Yep, it's me. You okay? You look like there's something wrong."

Her shoulders slump. "There was a mixup with our order. We're a lot more popular this year than I thought we would be and somehow it looks like we only ended up with half of what we needed. We might run out at this rate."

"Ouch," Saki says next to me, causing Lilly to slightly turn her head. "We have the opposite problem. I think we ended up with too much."

Lily recognizes the voice as Saki and addresses her. "Hello, Saki. Nothing ever does go perfect at these things, do they?" she mumbles in resignation.

"I don't know, can you cook fish? We have way more than we need of those. Hisao can bring over a bucket if you need it."

"Now wait a minute," I start to protest. Before I can finish my objection, I hear Lilly laughing.

"Thank you for the offer, but sadly, I don't think that would work" Lilly giggles. "What we could _really_ use is some more of our classmates that said they would be here. Ms. Miyagi went off to try to find them but he hasn't had much luck."

"We'll keep an eye out for any that we see," I assure her. "Would smaller portions help out with the shortage problem?"

Lilly's brow furrows in disappointment. "I suppose that will have to do for now. The day isn't over yet, however." With a quick start, she suddenly realizes what she's supposed to be doing. "Oh," she says, shocked. "I'm so sorry! What can I get for the two of you?"

Crap, I forgot about the food. I quickly ask Saki what she would like, using it as a cover to buy time while I make a frantic last glance at the board to reach a decision.

"Can I have two yakitori and a bowl of miso soup?" Saki asks, staring at the board hungrily. "Actually, make that three yakitori." She catches my sidelong glance and pouts. "What? I haven't eaten today. Or most of yesterday."

Having eaten earlier, I'm not that hungry. The soup does sound good, however. "I'll just have a bowl of soup too," I say, reaching to pull out my wallet. Saki stops me with a quick touch of her fingertips to my wrist.

"I'll take care of it. You helped set up the stage, so I owe you."

"You sure?" I hesitate.

"Yeah, absolutely. It's the least I can do."

"Well then," I say, grinning. "I think I want to try the yakitori too."

Saki rolls her eyes and gives an exaggerated sigh of frustration. I only laugh as she hands the money to Lilly. I watch her expertly count out the coins with her fingertips, placing each one in a designated slot in the cash box behind the counter they've set up. She counts out the change in a similar fashion, then holds it out in her hand expectantly. Saki lightly brushes the bottom of it with her own, signaling Lilly to gently drop the coins into her palm. It's such a fluid exchange that I find myself starting at it with my full attention, realizing I would have had no idea what would have been socially acceptable in that situation, or how I would have handled being either of them at that moment. Just that simple interaction that I or anyone else would take for granted becomes a fascinating ritual to observe.

I catch myself. Gotta remember to stop doing that, or at the least, stop feeling bad for doing it.

"It will be a few minutes," Lilly says, breaking the spell. "I'll let you know when it's ready."

"No problem, we'll be off to the side," I answer, moving with Saki out of the way so the people behind us have a chance to place their order. Saki sits down on the edge of a low wall behind the stand in the shade, sagging visibly as she takes out a deep breath. She really is tired.

"You sure you're gonna be okay?" I prod, sitting down next to her.

"I'll be better once I get some food in me," she reassures me. She brushes that stubborn lock of hair out of her eyes again, her watch glinting as it catches a ray of sunlight peeking through the foliage.

We sit for a few minutes, just watching the festival as it passes around us, enjoying the immediate tranquility that surrounds our little bubble. Having been so caught up in the preparations for the festival all week, it's nice to be able to sit down for a second and actually enjoy it. The guests seem to be enjoying it as well, and the sight of a few patrons greedily devouring their food makes my stomach rumble in anticipation. I close my eyes and let it all wash over me. The sounds, the smells, the feeling of a slight breeze over my skin...

My thoughts are interrupted when I hear Lilly call out our names. "Two miso soups and four yakitori?"

"Thank you," I say, jumping up so Saki doesn't have to. I quickly move over to the side of the stall where Lilly has our two bowls and plate of four grilled chicken skewers set aside. It looks and smells delicious, and I make sure to tell her so.

"I hope you two enjoy it," she says, with genuine enthusiasm. "Can you make sure to bring the bowls back later?"

"Sure thing," I say, placing the plate of chicken on top of a bowl and performing a balancing act with the items in my hands. "Try to take a break if you can. You look like you're working really hard."

Lilly gives a small smile at my words. "I'll try, if I get a chance. Thank you for your concern."

I turn away and make my way back to where Saki and I were sitting. She looks up expectantly as I delicately place the food down between us.

"It looks good," I say, bringing the soup up to my mouth for a taste. The broth is a little saltier than I'm used to, but the flavor doesn't disappoint.

"It better be," Saki says, her words muffled by the bite of chicken she managed to already take. "I paid for it after all."

I laugh. "Oh please, you're going to lecture me on taking advantage of others?"

"No, but I'm still going to scowl at you anyway," she says, leveling a menacing glare at me that has absolutely zero malice behind it. The fact that there's a skewer of grilled chicken hanging out of the corner of her mouth makes the image even more comical.

My own yakitori is pretty damned tasty, I have to admit. Usually whenever I would get them they would be dried out or slathered in sauce to the point where you couldn't taste the meat, but whoever they have helping them cook these really knows what they're doing.

Saki makes a noise of approval as she tries her own soup, having finished one of her three skewers already. "Just as good as I remember," she says, placing the bowl down to attack another piece of chicken.

"What about your fried food?"

"Oh, I'll get that later. Right now I just need the energy."

The rest of the meal passes without incident with light conversation, both of us too focused on the food to do much more than eat. Afterward, I throw the plate and empty skewers in the trash, and drop the bowls off at Lilly's stall. I was going to thank her for how good it was, but she seems to have vanished. Maybe she finally was able to take a break.

"How much time do we have?" I say, turning back towards Saki. She's finished standing up, taking her cane in hand and brushing off the back of her skirt with the other. She glances around to make sure she hasn't forgotten anything, then looks at her watch again.

"We should have just enough time to head over there if we hurry."

I nod and the two of us fall into lockstep again, turning towards the dormitories where the stage was set up yesterday. The crush of people here is as large as I've seen, with this courtyard area being the main thoroughfare between all of Yamaku's different buildings being shown off to parents. Saki moves a bit closer to me, pressing her side into mine. It's an innocent gesture designed to make as small a target as possible for the human torpedoes darting around us, but I can't help noticing.

After a few seconds we make our way through that particular knot of people and Saki moves away from me...although not quite as far away as she was before. Then we come into view of the stage and all that is forgotten.

Chisato seems to have finished directing others to set up chairs. If I had to guess, there are a hundred or so out in front of the stage with an aisle running down the middle. Maybe a quarter of them are filled by people waiting for the next show to start, although it's just as likely some of them are sitting down to take a quick break from the activities of the day. The stage itself has two rows of chairs on it, along with an equal number of sheet music stands. A keyboard is set up on one end, with various wires snaking their way to the edge and out of sight.

Saki spots Chisato before I do, in the middle of a group of students milling around off to the left of the stage. Most all of them are carrying instruments of some kind, either in hand or in their cases. I see a few more violins, a big violin that some nagging memory tells me is a cello, several flutes or close enough to where I can't tell the difference, and other things I don't recognize.

"Where the hell were you?" Saki says by way of greeting as soon as Chisato notices us. Chisato runs up to greet us, bowing apologetically.

"I'm sorry!" she says. "There was a problem with the sound system, it hasn't been working right all morning."

"And you're the only one who could fix it?" Saki admonishes. "I don't believe that for a second."

I'm taken aback for an instant. I can tell Saki's genuinely angry, but just as soon as it flares up, she lets it go. There are other things for her to focus on right now and she knows it.

"No, I'm not the only one, but I'm the best at it. I keep telling Ms. Sakamoto that we need a new setup but they're probably going to keep using this one until it melts."

"Ugh, fine. But after this, you're going back to the booth if I have to drag you there myself. Is my violin here at least?"

Chisato moves over towards a bench where everyone has gathered, pulling out a black case. She turns back towards Saki, holding it out like a peace offering, but ready to use it like a shield at a moments notice. Saki snatches it and sits down, wordlessly struggling with the closures.

"So..." I venture, my voice a bit awkward. "Just...find a seat anywhere?"

Chisato turns to me, acknowledging me for the first time. "Oh! Yes, sit anywhere. We're supposed to start in about ten minutes."

Saki looks up from the case as she snaps it open. "Hisao...are you going to stay and watch?" she asks expectantly.

The question kind of catches me off guard. I guess it was just assumed that I was going to stay, although I hadn't given it any active thought. I'm actually curious to hear Saki and the others play. I've never known too much about classical music, outside of attending the mandatory assemblies at my old school where the school band would play something to close it out.

"Sure," I say. "I saw how hard you were working all week, so I'm looking forward to seeing it."

Saki's eyes brighten at my answer, and she moves the case onto the bench next to her. "Can I ask you for a favor?"

"What is it?"

"Can you hold on to my cane for me? I would normally leave it here, but..." she says, her voice trailing off. I see the chaos around me as everyone is setting up their instruments, some nearly as large as they are. It could get very easy to lose something like a cane or have it buried under all the confusion.

"I can do that," I reply. "But don't you need it for the stairs?"

She shakes her head as she hands me the cane. "It's only a few steps. I'll be fine." I nod and accept it from her. It's a bit heavier than I thought it would be, and very sturdy.

"I guess I'll see you after, then?" I ask.

"That works," Saki says, using her now-free hands to pull her violin out of its case. "We have a few songs to play together, and then Chisato and I play something, and then I can get off the stage and sit with you."

I make a mental note to sit near to the side of the stage with the stairs so Saki doesn't have that far to walk. "Okay then," I offer. "Good luck!" Saki breaks her attention from setting up her violin to smile and nod back briefly, before she turns and starts to talk to a bandmate on her left. I take the opportunity to find a seat.

I sit down a few rows back, and idly glance around as more people find their own seats. Less than half the chairs are still filled up, however. I look down at the cane I have in my hand, and turn it in my fingertips, idly contemplating it.

It's a few feet long, with a rubber cleat on one end and a molded plastic handle coated in a thin layer of rubber on the other. A small loop of braided cord hangs from one end of the handle to slip a wrist through. I confirm that it's a bit beefier than I would have thought, but I'm no expert in these things. As I turn the shaft, the barely visible pattern of wood grain tells me why. The cane is made of solid wood, something I find surprising. I had always thought that these were made of hollow metal tubes, at least the ones I've seen. There's no series of holes to adjust the length of it either. I notice a few more details, such as the quality of the fasteners, and gold bands at either end of the shaft between the handle and foot. There's also some kanji stamped into the handle, but it's so worn I can't make it out for sure.

This cane isn't like any I've ever seen. It looks to be custom made, just for Saki. No wonder she wanted someone to hold onto it. I wonder how much it costs to make something like this.

While I finish this thought, the band members shuffle onto the stage. Saki has her violin in one hand and her other on Chisato's shoulder to help balance her. After making sure Saki is situated, she makes her way to the keyboard on the end of the stage.

An older woman stands up in front of the group, her salt-and-pepper hair pulled into a bun to compliment her blue blouse and long skirt. She takes a minute to scan the crowd, with a few of them starting to quiet as they notice her.

"Hello," she announces, her voice loud enough to let people in the audience know the show is about to start. Her voice resonates a quiet dignity as she bows slightly to the crowd. "My name is Hana Sakamoto, and I'm pleased to say that I've been the music teacher here at Yamaku for the last seven years. I'd like to thank all of you for coming today. I know there are a lot of games and food to see, but we greatly appreciate you taking the time to listen to us today."

Polite, scattered applause drifts up from the chairs around me. I join in for a few seconds.

"This year has been an amazing one for us so far," she continues. "We have a truly talented group of students up here today and they've all worked very hard to be able to play for you..."

As Ms. Sakamoto drones on, the faces of the band behind her register a variety of emotions. Some are excited, some are bored, and some seem annoyed. One boy is actively rolling his eyes.

"...we're hoping that you enjoy, and help us out by either donating or checking out several of the booths we have running," the teacher concludes. With a flourish, she turns around and nods to the band, which starts playing.

It's a standard tune, one designed to appeal to as many people as possible while offending none. It sounds rather mechanical, or the type of thing you would hear in an elevator. The same students that were bored during Ms. Sakamoto's speech haven't changed their expressions in the least, despite the fact they're now playing.

I will say this. There's something oddly fascinating about using that level of skill while being completely disdainful doing so.

The music shifts and changes, letting some instruments come through ahead of others, then switching places. It allows each individual person a chance to shine and also be part of the overall group. Saki is one of three violinists, and all three of them play together when called for, their fingers moving over the necks of their violins, the bows moving across the strings.

The first song ends after a few minutes, followed by another round of polite applause. After a few seconds another one starts up, the tempo slightly upbeat compared to the previous tune. It sounds a bit playful, actually, and before I know it I'm tapping my heel in time with the rhythm. Once again, there's no real effort to have certain elements outshine the others.

With the change in mood, I look at the students again. More now have a positive look on their faces, while some have intense looks of concentration as the song slips in and out of complexity. I look at Saki, who is wearing a mask of calm composition as she mirrors the motions of the players on either side of her. She's focused, but there's also a sense of satisfaction written on her face. The rest of the crowd seems to pick up on the energy as well, with more people smiling than there were when the show started.

That song comes to a close as well, with yet more clapping. Ms. Sakamoto turns back toward the crowd after the last stanza fades, with a look of humble pride on her face.

"Thank you for your applause. We would now like to take this time to allow some of our students to showcase their own talents. We firmly believe here at Yamaku in developing each student to their fullest potential and letting them shine, whether it's in music, sports, art, academic studies, or any other area they want to pursue."

As she continues, I notice members of the band shuffling to leave the stage. Chisato retains her spot at the keyboard, and Saki draws her legs closer underneath her chair to allow the students to her side to pass unimpeded. When the procession ends, Saki scoots over to the chair nearest the keyboard.

"Our first piece is from two very talented students, performing a twist on a classic composition. I would like to introduce you to Saki Enomoto playing the violin and Chisato Souma playing the piano." Chisato raises a hand and waves, and Saki gives a slight bow before resting her violin in the crook between her shoulder and chin.

All eyes in the chairs are fixed on the two of them for a few seconds of silence. Chisato and Saki look at each other and both give an almost imperceptible nod.

The melody starts with Chisato playing a few opening notes, moving down and up the scale. Saki brings the bow up and joins in with long, slow strokes that compliment Chisato's playing. The bow moves across the string, eliciting a mournful sound that balances perfectly with the flow of the piano. Instantly, the first few seconds tickles some recognition deep in my brain.

The piece picks up in complexity while keeping the same basic structure, both girls trading off the lead while the other plays an accompaniment in the background. I would be closing my eyes to better experience the music, but I can't take my eyes off Saki. Unlike when she was playing with the band, her body is relaxed, her eyes are closed, and her fingers aren't moving with the formal rigidity they were earlier.

They're _dancing._

I've never had a big taste in music. I don't have any real favorite genre. I don't have any presets on my radio back home. I don't have any posters for bands hanging on my wall. I couldn't carry a tune if you gave me a bucket. The few times I've been at assemblies and dragged along by my family to events, I've had to watch other people clapping to get the timing right half the time.

There are a few songs I've heard over the years that just make an instant connection, tied to places or people or events in my life, and when I hear one, time seems to stop for those brief few moments as I'm placed right back there. Some of those moments are good, some of them are painful.

Like my appreciation for most things, music was tainted by my long hospital stay. When I was first admitted to the hospital, I spent several weeks in a shared intensive care ward. None of the doors could be closed so each room and bed had a direct line of sight to the nurse's station to let the glance in at every patient in the ward in case something came up. The station had a radio that was set to the same station and played day in and day out, recycling the same dozen songs every two hours. I didn't mind at first.

Then they started to cut back the _good_ medication.

You can only hear the same song so many times before you begin to understand why the doctors don't keep sharp instruments in patient rooms.

Being moved to a shared recovery room with one other person didn't help much either. They insisted on playing their radio on the same station as well, and they happened to be on the side of the room with the radio. It wasn't until after nearly two months that I got my own room and sweet, blessed silence.

I guess I'm trying to say I'd grown kind of numb to music as a whole the last few months. All that said, before I know it, I'm completely absorbed in what I'm hearing.

A quick look around me shows that many other people are having the same reaction I am. Rapt attention.

Far away, there are still the sounds of the festival. People laughing, children shouting, and the general hustle and noise. But right now, all that exists is this little bubble and the control the two on stage have of it.

All too soon, the music ramps down, with Saki finishing first. The piece ends the way it started, with a final, sad string of notes by Chisato. When Saki lowers her violin and bows, an enthusiastic round of applause starts through the crowd, and I'm gladly swept up in it. No matter what your taste in music, anyone who heard that would have to admit it was quite a show.

It still bugs me. I just know I've heard that song before. Either in a movie, or on the radio, or maybe in the background of a store somewhere.

I'll have to ask Saki about it.

As the applause dies down, Saki and Chisato give one final bow and move off the stage, Saki's hand gently resting on Chisato's shoulder. I get up myself and move to the edge by the stairs to meet them and give Saki her cane back. "You two were amazing!"

"Thank you!" both girls say in unison. Chisato has a look of self satisfaction, while Saki smiles tiredly. Her shoulders sag as if a huge weight has been lifted off of them. It's as if she was running on nothing but anticipation and adrenaline, and now that it's over, she's deflating like a balloon.

"That sounded really familiar. I swear I've heard it somewhere," I comment. Despite her exhaustion, the light never leaves her eyes as she looks into mine.

"Pachelbel," she answers. "It's called 'Canon in D.' It's one of those songs that has probably a hundred different versions. It's usually pretty boring though, so we changed it a little bit."

"Ms. Sakamoto mentioned it was an 'original twist.' Did you come up with the changes yourselves?" I wonder aloud. "That's pretty incredible."

Saki's expression loses just a bit of its cheerfulness, and I don't think it's just because of how tired she is.

"Kind of," she answers. Chisato's face has the same quick look of...something. I can't put my finger on it, but I sense the mood of the conversation just changed subtly.

I'm prevented from asking anything else as three of her bandmates step up, making us realize we're blocking the stairs. With a quick apology, we move off towards the side so they can take the stage themselves. I see two carrying flutes, and one carrying another violin.

Saki walks the few steps to the bench and sits down fairly hard, her fatigue clearly visible. She opens her violin case, fiddles with the knobs on the end of the instrument, removes something from it, and then carefully puts the entire thing into the case.

"Are you okay?" I ask, showing concern. She gives a nod.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just really tired. That took more out of me than I thought it would. It's been a really exhausting week."

"Tell you what," Chisato says. "If you want to get out of here, I'll let Ms. Sakamoto know what's going on. I'll even take care of the booth too."

"You _should_ have been doing that anyway," Saki counters, annoyed. "Besides, I thought you had to run the sound system?"

"Oh, that's pretty much done with now. After our group, there's nothing else scheduled until the fireworks."

Saki shakes her head with a sigh.

"Fireworks?" I question, my eyebrows raising. "They actually have fireworks here?" This is the first I've heard of this. Fireworks aren't cheap, and the fact they would have them at a school festival shows that Yamaku must have some fairly serious financial backers.

"Mm-hmm," Chisato affirms as Saki closes the case. "They have them every year. I heard that this year's are supposed to be pretty good. Are you going to be able to stick around and see?"

"I'm not sure," I hesitate, glancing at Saki. It seems I've left the decision up to her. She picks up on my visual cue.

"I don't think I'm gonna make it that far," Saki says. "I just want to get a drink and probably go turn in early."

Chisato notices how tired her friend is. "Alright, I'll handle things here. Go get some...sleep," she says, winking at me with a mischievous tone to her voice.

Now it's my turn to shake my head and sigh.

Saki gets to her feet, her cane in hand, leaving her violin with the rest of the instruments for the band. It's a simple matter to walk off to the side, excusing ourselves from the vicinity without drawing too much attention. Saki's leaning a bit heavier on her cane, her steps not quite as nimble as usual.

"What would you like to drink?" I ask.

"You know what would really hit the spot right now? Some kind of juice."

"Do you want to look at the vending machines, or try one of the stalls again?" The sun is starting to go down, and the area leading down to the food booths is definitely more crowded than it was on our first trip through.

"Let's try the stall we were at earlier," she says. "I want to see the school lit up at night. You'll love it."

We round the corner to see the thoroughfare, and I see she's right.

The festival is still bustling with activity, but here's a different mood once the sky starts to darken. The path is lit now by glowing red paper lanterns, illuminating the happy faces of the adults and children wandering around. Some have purpose, making beelines between different stalls. Some are along for the ride. Still others simply seem to be happy meandering around, taking in the various sights like ourselves.

"I'm going to find a spot on the grass over in that area," Saki explains, pointing beyond the stalls to one of the large open grassy fields between the footpaths. There's already a multitude of people laying out on blankets and sitting in chairs.

"Come find me?" she finishes, looking at me with that ever present twinkle in her eyes.

* * *

"All they had was apple and orange juice," I say apologetically, sitting down on the grass next to Saki. I offer both cans to her so she can choose which one she wants.

She grabs the apple and eagerly pops the tab on it.

"Thank you," she gasps after downing half the can in three long gulps, then gives a quick cough. I start to chuckle at her enthusiasm.

"Don't mention it," I reply, opening my own drink. "But I thought you wanted to turn in early and get a good night's sleep?"

"I do," she says, stretching her legs out in front of her. "But this is the last year I'll get to see this, you know?"

I never even thought of it that way. I'd spent so much time this last week trying to adjust that I'd never even considered that people might feel sad to know this was their last festival they might see.

Saki lays out on the grass completely, placing her hands behind her head with a contented sigh. I take her lead, gazing up at the mostly-night sky as the last trace of sunlight flees behind the hills.

I take a deep breath. All the smells of the food, the grass beneath me, and just the general crispness of the evening air is like a heady drug that instantly calms me. I think that, for the first time since my life changed that day months ago, I'm at peace.

It's a nice feeling.

Like a highlight reel, my brain replays the last few days. Settling into Yamaku. Working with Shizune and Misha. Meeting Lilly and Hanako. My almost disastrous run with Emi. That painfully awkward chat with Rin in the art room. Fortunately, Saki was there and seemed to know how to handle it better than I could. I lost my ability to form coherent thoughts at the sight of her eating with her feet, and never did quite get it back for the rest of that encounter.

Then the time I've spent with Saki wanders to the forefront of my thoughts.

I turn my head slightly to look at Saki out of the corner of my eye. Hers are closed, honey-chestnut hair fanned out around her head and shoulders. Her lips are parted slightly, moving gently as she breathes steadily in and out.

She's asleep.

I think about waking her, but decide to let her be.

Why did she take such an interest in me this first week? I came to this school rather bitter and closed off. I barely wanted to be around myself the first few days, so I can only imagine how pleasant I was around others. But she wasn't put off by it at all, instead constantly trying to make me laugh, to see things from a different perspective, and above all keep me busy. I stare at the scab on the back of my knuckle. No, we certainly can't forget about that part.

Maybe she just wanted to keep me busy to take my mind off various things until I could appreciate them, like this very moment here.

And to get to this point, where I could just relax long enough to feel it? The girl lying beside me is a big part of that.

I'm asking more questions to myself as I watch her. Why is she here at Yamaku? Why does she need the cane? I appreciate her candor about our...situations, but I wonder what caused her to adopt that attitude in the first place.

"Saki?" I blurt out before I even realize I've spoken.

"Hm?" she says sleepily, her eyes fluttering open to look at me.

Too late to back out now, I ask the question in my mind, both ashamed of doing so and surprised I find the courage.

"Why are you here at Yamaku?" How I asked that with a steady voice, I'll never know.

She props herself up on her elbows and looks into my eyes, a piercing stare that holds my gaze. There's a seriousness in the air, as if she's appraising me and thinking what to say. But there's also a hint of amusement, and approval. A few seconds go by, each one more uncomfortable than the last. But unlike the other times this week where I've been caught in a taboo, I don't flinch away.

My face might be growing hot, my ears may be on fire, but I don't flinch away.

Saki breaks into a soft smile. "See? That wasn't so hard, was it?"

Okay, _now_ I flinch.

"It's okay, Hisao. I know you're curious. I see you looking at me walking with my cane. I just thought it would be better for you if you were the one to ask me. Besides, it's not exactly obvious, is it?"

I give a short laugh. "Well, you were the one who went off on me earlier. I figured it would be safe to ask you. I didn't think you'd be that upset if I did."

"Oh please. I'm not that hypocritical," she says, in mock indignation.

"Hey, cut me some slack. I'm still learning here. About...all of this."

"Sorry, but from now on you're not allowed to use that excuse." Her tone turns a little sad as she continues. "Some people never stop using that excuse."

That one hits a little close to home, but our earlier conversation where she chewed me out helps me understand what she's implying. I look at her expectantly.

"I'm here because I have a degenerative disorder called 'spino-cerebellar ataxia,'" she says, reciting the foreign words as if reciting straight from a textbook. "It's a disease that attacks the nervous system. Messes up various things all over your body."

"I've never even heard of that before."

"Not many people have," she replies sardonically, laying back down again. "As long as I can still get around and play my violin, it doesn't bother me too much."

Saki mentioned it's a disease. People can't regrow limbs, or regenerate hearts or eyes. But most diseases have cures, don't they? "Is there any cure?"

"Nope," she answers, as casually as if I just asked if she knew the answer to a question on a math test. "I mean, I take medications that help with the symptoms, but no cure."

There's nothing in her voice that suggests she's uncomfortable talking about it...but maybe this isn't the time or the place.

"Your turn," she says, catching me off guard. "What brings you to be laying down in the grass next to me on a spring night, waiting for fireworks to start? Something with your heart, right?"

I grimace. "How'd you guess?"

"The reaction to the 'heart attack' comment I made earlier...besides, it's not like you have a cane like me."

"Maybe I'm one of the normal kids here," I offer up lamely. "Like Misha."

Saki laughs. "Run that by me again. Did you just call _Misha _'normal'?"

"That didn't exactly sound convincing, did it?"

"Nope. Besides, you transferred in after the year had already started, and I know you didn't end up here because you wanted to," she chides, her amusement reflected in the low lights from the festival.

"I have a heart condition called arrhythmia," I say, trying to match my tone to the one she used when telling me her own affliction. "My heart decides it wants to do its own thing sometimes because it's weaker than normal."

"Oh, that's where the beat is off, right?" Saki exclaims, as if she's enthused she knows what the word means. She winces when she realizes her reaction. "Sorry..."

I chuckle. "You win the million. I had a heart attack that landed me in the hospital for a few months, and after that, well, here I am," I finish with a sigh.

"Can it get better? With medication, or..."

"I swear, I take my own body weight in pills every week. I even take pills that do nothing but combat the side effects of other pills," I say. "My doctors say that light exercise should help, but Nurse convinced me to go for a morning run with Emi and it didn't go so well."

That's a bit of an understatement, to say the least.

"Well, if you can't run," Saki muses, her face turning thoughtful, "what about swimming? That's what I do for exercise."

"So that's the reason why you always go to the pool before school starts?" I ask. "Huh. I just assumed Yamaku had a swim team."

"Yamaku has some after school clubs, but, well...we don't really have much in the way of teams."

"Ah," I say. Yeah, I can see why a school for the disabled doesn't exactly have a competitive soccer or baseball team. Actually, that's painfully obvious in hindsight.

Still, swimming? Nurse did mention that as an option, at least to start out with. The only real downside I can see is...well...I can barely stand to look at my scar in the mirror. The thought of letting other people see it pretty much kills any enthusiasm Saki might have tried to instill in me. I suppose I could swim with a shirt on, but that would draw just as much attention as the scar would...

Saki senses my hesitation. "Just think about it, okay?"

Before I can reply, a booming noise sounds out in the distance, startling everyone. Two seconds later, the sky comes alive with a bright green explosion that turns the sounds of shock into squeals of delight.

Red. Blue. Orange. Green. The sky is bathed in brilliant light as the colors dance on the dark canvas. I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen fireworks in person, and I've never been this close to them before. Every flash of light is followed by another boom half a second later, some larger than others.

"Oh wow!" Saki shouts in excitement. "This is way larger than last year!" I look at her and see the look of pure joy on her face, her eyes darting to take in every firework that goes off. The two dark pools light up with almost every color you can think of.

As another round of fireworks goes off from the town below to join the ones up on the hill, I turn towards them.

This is another one of those moments. Where no matter how badly things have ended up to bring you to them, you stop and appreciate everything about them...and they're made even more special by what you had to go through to get to them.

And more than one in a single day? I can't remember that happening, even before I ended up in the hospital.

Happy gasps and other noises from the crowd add to the entire experience, and for the next ten minutes or so, time seems to stand still as everyone is completely absorbed.

"Here it comes!" Saki says loudly, when the fireworks slack off for a few seconds.

"Here what comes?" I ask, my own voice raised since I can't hear much.

"The finale!"

No sooner does she say that then the fireworks start up again, in ferocious intensity. One after the other until that entire part of the sky seems to be one bright, multicolored display. Cheers sound out from around me, matching the intensity of what's happening above our heads.

Finally, with one last booming echo and a bright flash that leaves an afterimage burned into my retinas, the fireworks show is over.

As my hearing comes back, I hear voices talking about what just happened. About half of the people in the crowd start to stand up, taking stock of their various things like blankets, lawn chairs, and children.

"Is that it?" I wonder, looking around me at the movement.

"Pretty much," Saki says, raising herself to a seated position and brushing some strands of grass off her arms. "There's nothing else really planned for the rest of the night. Awesome way to end it though!"

"Makes sense that they would use it to close the festival, I guess," getting to my feet.

"The booths should be open for a while longer," Saki explains. She holds up her hand towards me and I use it to help pull her up. She smooths out her skirt and stretches, yawning. "Everyone suddenly realizes they want to play one last game or get some more food. Do you?"

I bend down to pick up our two drink containers. "I'm pretty full, actually, and you already fell asleep on the grass."

"I wasn't sleeping. I was resting my eyes."

"Sure you were."

"Alright, you win," she concedes, yawning again. "Can we get going back to the dorms? I'm about to pass out."

That seems like a good idea, actually. I can feel my own energy reserves dropping now that the adrenaline from the fireworks has worn off.

"I think we might have to wait a while though." I say, scanning ahead. The crush of humanity is moving slowly but inexorably towards the front gates, away from the dorms. I don't think we're going to be able to swim upstream through that.

"Here, this way," she says, grabbing my arm after a quick glance. She leads us across the great lawn towards the back of some of the booths, then slips into one. I follow.

We're back at the band's goldfish booth. Saki sits down in one of the empty chairs. "I figured this would be as good a place as any to rest for a while until people start to leave."

Chisato and the other girl from earlier...Noriko?...are busy over the fishtank. "Free fish! Come take one, or two, or ten!" Chisato calls out like a carnival barker, so intent on what she's doing she never even noticed the two of us. Saki whacks the back of Chisato's leg with her cane playfully, causing the dark haired girl to jump in surprise.

"What the?" Chisato exclaims, turning to look at the two of us. "Where did you two come from? I thought you were going to go to sleep?"

"Caught a second wind. We thought we'd hide here for a while," Saki says. "No way to get back to the dorms right now."

Noriko speaks up shyly. "Did you enjoy the fireworks?"

"Yeah, they were amazing this year," Saki says, and the two of them start talking among themselves. I walk up towards Chisato to get a better look at what she's doing. She's scooping fish into the plastic cups from earlier as quickly as she can.

"Need some help?" I ask.

Chisato shoots me a grateful look. "Thank God. We've been giving these things away since the fireworks ended and we only have about a dozen left. I scoop, you lid?"

"Sure," I say, and she hands me a cup with a rather energetic occupant bouncing madly against the plastic. I take a lid from the stack sitting on the table and put it firmly in place. Working quickly, we soon have all the rest of the tiny creatures taken care of.

Chisato yells out her offer again, and several people come by to take advantage of it. Some take only a single cup while others take two or three. I notice a lot of the other booths, save for the food vendors, are already in the process of turning off their lights and tearing down. A few have a line of people waiting to play one last game.

"Here," Saki says behind me, causing me to turn. She hands me one of the cups that was on the table.

"Thanks," I say, turning to get ready to hand him to someone who already has two. Saki stops me.

"No, keep him. It's a thank you present for all your help the last few days. He's yours."

I'm a bit dumbfounded at this. I glance at the fish floating lazily in the glass, then hold him up to get a better look at him. He's one of the larger ones; a mottled thing with a gold back, cream belly, and black freckles all over.

"Uh, you don't really have to. I don't know the first thing about fish and I don't know if we're allowed to have one in the dorm."

Saki waves her hand dismissively. "I have a few in a bowl in my room. As long as it's not something like you would see at the aquarium, you should be fine."

"And they allow this?"

"I'm sure they would."

"So, in other words, you don't know."

Noriko laughs, having heard the entire exchange. I just sigh again. I have the feeling I'm going to be doing that a lot in the future.

After a few more minutes of idle talk, all the other goldfish are gone. Chisato brushes her hands on the front of her skirt, and Noriko starts to unplug the lights.

"Are you ready?" Saki asks me, noticing the crowd has died down. There's still a fair amount of people on the grounds, but not nearly as many as there were making their way home.

I notice Chisato give Noriko a _look._

_That_ look.

"Don't let us keep you two," she says with a teasing tone. "We'll finish up here tonight and tomorrow morning when we wake up. Your violin was taken back to the room with all the rest of the instruments after the show."

"Thanks, Chisato. Sorry for being hard on you earlier. Did you get anything to eat?" Saki asks with concern.

"Eh, I deserved it. Don't worry about it. And yep, I got plenty. About to get a snack after we get done here."

"Alright. See you two tomorrow," Saki says.

"Thanks for the help, Hisao," Chisato says over her shoulder, already intent on another task.

"Anytime," I answer automatically. Oh man. Why do I think I'll be eating those words?

And with that, Saki and I make our way back towards the dorms, tracing the same route we used earlier to get to the stage in the first place. There's still the sound of people, but most of the noise has quieted down to where I can hear the gentle clacking of Saki's cane every time it touches the ground.

"So, Hisao," she says in step beside me. "Did you enjoy the festival?"

"Yeah," I say, truly meaning it. "I think, after this week, and after everything else, I really needed it."

"Good," she answers, unable to hide the tiredness in her voice. "I'm glad. Hope you didn't mind spending most of it with me."

"Not at all. I had a good time."

It was pretty amazing, actually. The entire day was, thinking back on it. I didn't know what to expect when I woke up today. I wasn't even sure I was going to go to the festival at all, much less enjoy it. Kind of fitting given my whole attitude towards Yamaku was similar when I first transferred in. But the day ended up being fun.

_Fun? _No, not exactly the right word. Peaceful, calming, enjoyable. All those things. Mesmerizing was another good term for parts of it. I realize that I didn't just enjoy the music, or the food, or the fireworks, but I enjoyed pretty much every way I spent my time today.

And who I spent that time with.

"Looks like this is where we part ways for the night," Saki says. We're in the courtyard before the dorms before I had even realized it. "Get a good night's sleep, okay?"

"I should be saying that to you. _You're_ the one who can barely stand up."

"Hey, you're the new guy. Someone has to look out for you."

"I thought you said I wasn't allowed to use that as an excuse anymore."

"Right. _You_ can't. _I_ can," she giggles, turning away from me to start to walk towards the entrance to the female dorm.

"Hey, Saki?" I manage after she takes a few steps. She stops and turns around to face me.

"Thank you." Thank you for what? Thank you for spending time with me today. Thank you for playing that song. Thank you for being concerned about me. Thank you for reaching out to me this last week. Thank you for making me laugh. Thank you for verbally slapping me and challenging me.

All of that passes through my mind in a second. And I swear, after three seconds when her face breaks into a warm smile, she's understood. _All _of that.

"You're welcome," she replies, with just as much unspoken.

And with that, she turns and walks through the door, with it closing behind her. I'm left standing in the courtyard to end the day, just as it really began hours ago.

Thank you for letting the day be fun. And thank you for showing me it was okay for me to have fun.

All I really had to do was just open my mind to the possibilities as to what could have happened today, and take that first step of leaving my dorm room. And it turned out to be a great decision.

Can I do the same thing with Yamaku, in general? With my new life? Can I just stop being bitter about it for long enough to actually accept that this might be a good thing?

I don't know the answer to that.

But I know that I'm going to try.


	5. Act 2: Rough Idle

**Thus begins Act 2, titled "Countdown."**

**Act 2, Scene 1:**

**"Rough Idle"**

No good deed goes unpunished, they say. I paid for the good time I had yesterday with the hell of waking up this morning.

All the excitement of the past week, the festival last night, and one or more random deities conspired against me to turn my blanket into a lead sheet. I hit the snooze button as many times as I could safely do so, then twice more for good measure. The cold shock that went through me as my bare feet hit the floor made my body scream at the injustice of it all.

I don't even remember taking a shower or getting dressed. I must have, because my scalp is damp and I'm not naked. I don't remember the walk from the dorms to class, either. Just some vague recollection of climbing some stairs and the pain from hip-checking a banister on the landing.

I think I just magically teleported. That's the explanation I'm going with. I think I saw an old black-and-white TV show that had that once. Any further thought into the issue would require the wheels in my head to turn, and the hamster there isn't just sleeping; he's in a coma.

At least the desk feels cool against my forehead.

With a groan, I force myself to sit up and at least take in my surroundings. At least the rest of the class that bothered showed up looks as anemic as I am in the post-festival crash. Two of the girls in the back have their heads down, using their arms as pillows. Someone is actually snoring, although I can't tell who it is. I notice more empty chairs than usual, including two next to me that make me raise my eyebrows.

I beat the dynamic duo to class for once? I really should walk down to town later and buy a lottery tick-

"Good morning, everyone~!" comes a voice from the door, easily twice as loud as it needs to be. Someone may as well have just used the chalkboard to file their nails, given the reactions I see. Scrunched faces, rolled eyes, wincing, pure murder.

The wall of enmity hits Misha full on and she stops, the look on her face confused. "What's going on? Why is almost everyone still asl_yeep!"_

The last part of her question comes out as a squeal as she stumbles into the classroom completely, having been shoved from behind by a rather annoyed looking Shizune. This raises a few chuckles from the seat behind me, and I just decide to put my head back down.

Damn it. The surface of the desk is no longer cool.

"Hicchan!" I hear, much closer, but not quite as loud. Misha's spotted me. I thought if you held perfectly still, they weren't able to see you. Or was it if you couldn't see them, they couldn't see you?

Yeah, brain definitely isn't firing on all cylinders yet.

"Morning," I mumble, keeping my eyes closed. Just five more minutes...

My thoughts are interrupted by Misha playfully tousling my hair. Resigning myself, I sigh and look up at her. Her companion looks back and shakes her head with a _tsk-tsk-tsk_ motion before rapidly starting to move her hands.

"'Shicchan wants to know why you can't seem to stay awake, Hicchan," Misha scolds.

"A dozen other people in this class and you single _me_ out?," I ask, raising my eyebrow and looking around.

"'Almost everyone here worked hard to make the festival a success~,'" Misha translates. "'It's only expected that they're going to be tired.'"

"And you're saying I didn't, is that it?" I reply incredulously. I think Shizune's teasing me by the glint in her eye, but I'm not really in the mood for it. I'm not sure what passes for sarcasm when using sign language, but I'm sure having Misha as a filter anywhere in the process doesn't help matters any.

"Well, we barely saw you all week after you got the art supplies for us, Hicchan," she answers, her hands on her hips. "We thought you might be blowing us off."

"Well you're wrong, both about blowing you off and not helping. I did plenty of work to help out the festival. I poured blood, sweat, and tears into it."

Blood and sweat, anyway. I may have wanted to cry when I dropped a pipe on my foot when helping to put the stage together. I settled for a string of four letter words hissed through clenched teeth.

"'We were looking for you, but we didn't see you. We thought you didn't go at all,'" she says, the tone of her voice not matching Shizune's words. This constant discrepancy is something that I don't know if I'll ever get used to.

"It was a lot bigger than I thought it would be, so I guess it's no surprise we didn't run into each other. Are you sure the two of you went? I didn't see youeither."

Misha signs this and guffaws while Shizune just gives me a blank look, as if I'm a moron for even suggesting that the student council president wouldn't be at the school festival.

"Don't worry, Hicchan," Misha says. "Did you have fun?"

"I did, actually," I concede. "The food was good and the fireworks were pretty impressive."

"Oh, and is that all you did?" the pink-haired girl questioning me asks, lowering her voice conspiratorially.

"I...checked out the band's performance," I say guardedly, not sure where she's going with this.

"Wahahaha, I knew it, I knew it~!" Misha says, at full volume again. "I saw you eating lunch with Saki. I didn't want to bother you though, you looked like you were having a good time."

Thanks, Misha. Now everyone kno...wait, if Misha saw me but Shizune says she didn't, does that mean Misha purposely didn't point me out to her?

I don't have time to ponder this before a very flustered Shizune throws up her hands and stomps the few steps to her desk. I realize that Misha hadn't been signing any of this exchange to her.

"What's her problem?" I ask Misha, as Shizune angrily takes her seat, the feet of the chair squealing in protest against the floor as she scoots into position.

"Honestly, I think it's because you didn't spend the day with her," Misha says with a wink while moving to her own desk. "Did you have any plans for lunch today?"

"Not really, no."

"Great~! Want to spend it with us then?"

I didn't really know what I was going to do for lunch. I'm so tired that the idea that time would advance forward to get to that point is one I can't even fathom. Well, we all need to eat, and hopefully Shizune will have calmed down by then.

"Sure."

Heavy footsteps echo from the hallway as Mutou trudges in, looking like death warmed over. He's unshaven, his hair is a mess, and his eyes are rimmed with red. It looks like he got about as much sleep as the rest of us in class did. All the normal classroom buzz turns silent as he makes is way across the front of the room, either from respect or amazement at the state he's in; I'm not too sure myself.

He reaches his standard spot by his desk, then turns to face us, taking us in with a slight smile. "I don't have to even ask if you enjoyed the festival, judging by how many of you are awake," he says, running a hand through his hair. "I _did_ have a pop quiz scheduled for you to take today..."

He's cut off by a collective groan from the class.

"...but given that about a third of the class isn't here, and those of you that are look like you couldn't even spell your own names right now, I'll hold off on it until tomorrow. It's not a big thing, but it helps me assess your own individual progress with understanding the course material. So I guess you can see why today wouldn't be a good day to take it."

Chances are he's in about as much shape to grade the tests as we are to take them. He turns around and writes a series of page numbers on the blackboard.

"We'll be covering the last four chapters on particle physics," he explains. "Pretty much every question on the quiz will be from those chapters. You can spend the the next hour reviewing the pages I've written up here, reading, putting your heads down quietly, or doing assigned work. We'll do some oral review tomorrow before the quiz if you have any questions you want to go over," he finishes, that trademark grin pulling at the corner of his mouth.

* * *

The lunch bell might as well be the alarm at a prison warning of an escape. The tension in the air from everyone waiting for it finally explodes, and the room comes alive with students eagerly waiting to free themselves from its clutches.

Shizune is one of the first on her feet, signing frantically to Misha, who matches her intensity.

"In a hurry?" I ask cordially, leaning back to stretch and feeling my vertebra pop.

"Sorry Hicchan," Misha says with a sad look. "Shicchan says we have to take care of some stuff for the council from the festival. I thought it could wait until after school and we could all get something to eat, but..."

"Don't worry," I say. "I'll manage. We can grab lunch some other time." Whether Shizune's still upset or she has legitimate business to to take care of, I don't know. My guess is that it's a little from column A, and a little from column B. Either way, I'm partially relieved I no longer have to worry about it. With another apologetic glance, Misha follows Shizune out the door.

I stand myself, having waited until most of the other students have left. I'm never one of the first ones out due to my proximity to the door. Maybe there's something appetizing in the cafeteria. Then again, almost anything sounds good at the moment, given that I haven't had anything since the food at the festival yesterday.

I step out the door and narrowly avoid a collision with Mutou, who was walking down the hall. It seems he's just as eager to get to lunch as the rest of us.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I say, taking a quick sidestep to keep from bumping into him. He seemed to have jumped at bit as well, leaving both of about two feet apart. I intend to let him pass me first, but he stops.

"Hold up one second, Nakai. I forgot to tell you something earlier."

I wonder what I've done to grab his attention. He glances through the door and gives a weak, cursory smile. We both stand off to the side, letting the rest of the students vacate until there's just the two of us standing in front of the classroom.

"Um, sure."

"Just wanted to make sure that you were doing okay," he starts, putting his hands casually into his pockets. "You just finished up your first week, and I wanted to see how you were adjusting to everything."

"Oh," I say, simultaneously relieved and on guard. I thought that I might have been in trouble, but this still isn't an easy topic of conversation for me. "I guess I'm settling in alright."

"How are the classes? I was worried that you might have some problems because of how long you were in the hospital. We're not going too fast for you, are we?"

"Not at all," I reply. Science was always something fascinating to me, and while I slacked off on most of the coursework that my classmates and parents brought to me in the hospital, I legitimately tried to keep up with that part of it. "I've always liked science, so it wasn't that hard to get back into it."

"Good. Great, actually," Mutou says, a look of relief on his face. I get the feeling his subject of studies isn't appreciated by many of his students. "That was pretty much it. I would have had a better idea later after the test I was going to give today, but I thought I'd just ask. Oh, and one more thing. Stop by the nurse's office when you get the chance."

"Do I need to go right now?"

"No, Nurse didn't make it sound like it was urgent. Just when you're able to."

"Alright," I say. I haven't been avoiding Nurse, but with everything going on last week, and after the run with Emi, seeing him just hasn't been anywhere on my priority list. Maybe I'll swing by later after classes. I wanted to ask him about my insomnia.

"See you later, Nakai," Mutou finishes with a smirk. "If you're really not having any problems, then I expect you to get a good grade on the quiz tomorrow."

Well, maybe I wouldn't go _that_ far. All I do is nod and continue on my way.

The temporary diversion with Mutou means I avoided most of the crush of the other classes getting out. There are a few stragglers making their way towards the staircase from the classrooms further down the hallway, so I join up with them. I'm nearly to the upper landing when I recognize two students by the elevator.

"Hey, you two," I say as I change my course slightly to intercept them, almost without thinking. Chisato and Saki turn at the sound of my voice, both of them offering smiles and greetings.

"You look better," I mention to Saki. She's awake and alert again, filled with the energy that seemed to elude her for most of last night. "Get a good night's sleep?"

"I was out before my head even hit the pillow," she says to me.

"Oh lucky you," Chisato says, rolling her eyes. "I was up half the night taking down that stall."

"You were not," Saki chides. "Besides, it's not like you spent time setting it up."

The elevator doors chime and open, disgorging a small handful of students. Saki and Chisato step in after the way is clear, Chisato raising her eyebrow towards me as if to beckon me inside. I do feel a little guilty using the elevator when I'm perfectly capable of walking, but what the hell.

"Doing anything for lunch?" Saki asks as the elevator starts to move.

"I was, but that fell through," I say. "Why do you ask?"

"We were on the way to the cafeteria," Chisato answers, leaning back against the wall and lightly yawning. "You're welcome to come with."

I don't see any reason to object, and am about to tell the two of them when the elevator comes to a halt. The big red display above the doors shows we're at the second floor, so all three of us move towards the back of the elevator and press our backs to the wall to make room.

With another chime, the door opens and I see two people waiting. One is a petite girl with long red hair seated in a wheelchair, her bookbag resting across her lap. She smiles at us and wheels herself in with her hands.

The student that follows her, however, is someone I recognize from my own class, though I can't remember his name.

His eyes move as he scans our group, the general look of boredom and disinterest changing to a scowl of disapproval for a fraction of a second when they rest on Saki.

"Hey, Maeda," Chisato says, causing my brain to click.

Maeda, that was it. Takeshi? Takashi? I can't remember his first name. He sits across from Shizune in our class. I don't think I've ever seen him take his green uniform jacket off, even though we're not required to wear it in class. He never buttons it up though, revealing he doesn't wear a tie but instead opts to wear a dark blue vest. The brown beret he wears on his mop of light brown hair leans towards the right side, nearly resting on the bandage covering his ear.

"Hey," he answers noncommittally, before closing his eyes and moving to join us. He turns to face the elevator doors as they close, effectively cutting us off with his body language.

I take a quick glance at Saki, but she's taken an interest in the nails of her right hand. She buffs them against the fabric of her shirt, then holds them up for inspection. Chisato, for her part, seems to be staring intently at a spot on the floor.

I have no idea what just happened, but the temperature in the elevator seems to have dropped a few degrees. I'm not sure if the sudden sinking feeling comes from the oppressive mood or if it's from our descent continuing down to the first floor.

Maeda's out the door before it fully opens, clearly wanting to be anywhere else. By the time our other passenger manages to roll herself over the threshold and we can step out ourselves, he's gone.

Even though we're out of the elevator, neither Saki nor Chisato seem to feel like striking up any conversation, and I just tag along feeling awkward. I'm actually relieved when we step into the cafeteria and manage to order our food.

"So," I say, taking a seat on a blue plastic chair, "either one of you want to tell me what that was all about?"

"Not much to tell, really," Saki answers, her tone indicating that there's plenty to tell but not she's not wanting to get into it right now. She bites into an apple to emphasize the point.

"I've seen him in class before, but I've never really spoken to him. He sure seemed to have a problem with you though," I ponder.

"Yeah," Chisato chimes in, hoisting her bag up to the seat beside her and withdrawing what looks to be a small leather case. "Ex-boyfriends tend to do that."

Saki closes her eyes and groans. _"Chisato..."_

"What?" her friend answers. She places the parcel on the table and opens the flap, revealing an array of instruments I can't recall ever seeing, but much like the music at the festival yesterday, there's something vaguely familiar about them. There's something that looks like an electric thermometer, and something else that, I don't know, looks like one of those tamagotchi toys I had when I was younger. Chisato removes and tears open a small package. "It's not like it was a secret."

I'm not sure what's in the plastic, but I spent long enough in the hospital to know the sound of something sterile being opened. Once you hear it so many times, you instantly recognize it.

More interesting to me than that though, is what the two of them just said.

"Excuse me?" I say, a bit taken aback. "That guy's your ex?"

Saki shoots me a dark scowl before taking another bite of her apple, this one a bit more...vicious.

I'm not sure why I'm so uneasy. Maybe it's the idea of Saki herself having an ex, but it could also be my whole unfamiliarity with the subject. I'd had a few crushes...I mean, what boy going through puberty doesn't? It's not that I was uninterested in girls or dating. It was just never a priority on my radar. But I never really even entertained the idea of a relationship until that day I got that note from Iwanako. And I was still too dense to even question what it was before she confessed to me in the snow.

We all know how well that turned out.

I guess it's no wonder someone as energetic and generally likeable as Saki would have had a boyfriend at one point.

"Yeah," Saki says in a regretful tone after swallowing her mouthful of food. "Not one of my better ideas."

"Hey, it's not like it's your fault he turned into an asshole when you broke up," Chisato reaffirms. She's taken whatever was in the package and done something with that thing that looks like a thermometer. Before I can figure out what it is, she places it to her finger and there's a loud "click" noise.

Ah, so that's what those are. I've never seen one in person, but I've seen enough television to recognize a diabetic testing kit. Any doubts I had are erased when she takes a small strip of paper and touches it to the bright red bead of blood and I realize I'm giving my attention to Chisato because I'm not really wanting to focus on the other subject.

"It's no big deal," Saki explains for my benefit, obviously trying to just get through it so we can drop it. "I met him in the art club first year, we dated for a few months, it didn't work out, he's been pissed at me ever since and now I am hungry and I am done talking about Maeda."

"He's really not all that bad," Chisato says, playing with the buttons of the meter while Saki tears into her sandwich. "He's probably just a bit grumpier than usual from his surgery. You think he'd be happier since he's waited so long for it." She plugs the strip into the top of the meter, which starts to beep.

That bandage covering his ear was pretty large. "What type of surgery did he have?" I ask, staring at my own sandwich and deciding to try it.

"He had a cochlear implant put in a few weeks before you transferred in. It was supposed to help with his tinnitus."

Just like with Saki's condition, none of those words made any sense. Except implant.

"I have no idea what those things are."

Chisato makes a note of the display on the meter, then swiftly puts everything away with practiced motions. It seems she, like Saki, has no problem discussing the conditions of others at Yamaku.

"I don't know all the details, but it's a ringing in the ears. He had a cochlear implant put in because it's supposed to help, but I think it was kindof a last resort thing. One of the guys in our class has one. It's pretty neat, actually. It's like an artificial ear that that gets implanted under the skin and there's a headset that goes with it. He showed it to me one time."

"How _are_ things going with you and Mitsuru, by the way?" Saki asks, her voice streaked with irritation that we're still discussing an unpleasant topic for her. The smile she gives her friend doesn't reach her eyes.

"_Quite_ well actually," Chisato responds smugly, completely shrugging it off. "Thank you for asking."

So much for that diversionary tactic.

"Oh, hey, Saki," I mention, not just to change the subject but also because I just remembered something. "You said last night you had a fishbowl in your room, right?"

"Mhm," she affirms, mouth full.

"How exactly do you take care of a fish? I've never had one before, and I really have no idea what to do with the one you gave me last night. He's still just kindof sitting there in his cup. I changed the water out, but..."

She swallows quickly before answering. "Oh gosh, I was so tired at the end of the night I didn't really think about that...how much time do we have left for lunch?"

I look at my watch. "About thirty minutes."

Saki's brow furrows as she does a quick calculation in her head. "Tell you what, I have some extra stuff in my dorm room you can have. I'll go back to grab it now, and then we can meet after school and I can give it to you?"

"Can't we just do that after classes get out?"

"We could, but we have to get straight to the music room after. We're having some sort of meeting about the festival, and then we're going down into town."

"Ah," I say.

"Need help?" Chisato asks, finally picking up her own sandwich.

Saki waves her off dismissively as she positions her cane to stand up. "Nah, I'll be fine. I need the exercise anyway. I didn't wake up in time to get my swim in this morning." She swings her legs out from under the table and stands up, grabbing the remains of her sandwich in her free hand. "Can you take care of the tray for me?" she asks.

"No problem," Chisato answers, and gives a little wave. Saki gives a short bow and turns to leave. I watch her as she moves through the room, a little unsteady on her feet but more than capable of keeping a fairly good clip.

"I have no idea how she does it," I ponder when she's out the door. "How can she have that much energy? I barely made it to class today."

Chisato laughs. "She's always like that. She doesn't let much slow her down." She takes a quick drink from her glass before continuing. "Me, I was up a lot later and I didn't eat much. What's your excuse?"

"Trying to keep up with Saki yesterday," I answer with a smirk. This only causes Chisato to laugh even harder.

"Yeah, it can be exhausting. But you had a good time yesterday, right?"

"I did. Seems like it was just what I needed, honestly."

"Good," Chisato says. "By the way, thanks for keeping her company yesterday. I wanted to swing by earlier but there was just so much stuff that had to be done and nothing was going right."

I think back to getting food at Lilly's stall and the problems she said they were facing. "Nothing goes as planned, does it?"

"Not with an event like that. Overall though, it went pretty well from what I heard."

A thought strikes my mind as I'm watching Chisato eat. "So, you're diabetic, right? You just tested your blood sugar?"

"Mhmm," she affirms, chewing.

"I thought whenever you did that, you had to inject yourself with insulin," I start to say, but as soon as I finish that sentence I see Chisato shaking her head as she swallows.

"Not me," she says. "I don't have to do that. I have something a bit more direct." She leans back in the chair and turns sideways, lifting up her shirt above the top of her skirt. I see a black box about the size of a pack of cards clipped the waistband of the green fabric, with a display on the front and a tube snaking out of sight.

"Insulin pump," she explains, waiting for me to get a good look at it before she drops her shirt back down. Now that I know what to look for, I can see the bulge it makes in the fabric. "All I have to do is hit a button or two on it and it does all that for me." She pats her side for emphasis. "It's a lot easier than sticking myself with a needle every time. Less painful too. I only need to put in a new needle every few days."

"I thought diabetes had to do with what you ate," I comment, wracking my brain for everything I know about diabetes, which admittedly isn't much.

"Sometimes, but that's usually something with type two diabetics. I'm type one," she explains.

"I didn't even know there was more than one type."

"Most people don't," she says, taking another quick sip of her drink. "Type one diabetics don't produce insulin, so that's why I need the pump. Type two diabetics make it but build up resistance to it. Type one is pretty rare."

The memories of the defibrillators along the walls along with remembering the term "diabetic coma" prompts my next question. "So if something, uh, goes wrong, I guess...what are the people around you supposed to do?"

"Force feed me syrup," she answers, in such a straight tone of voice that I must look stunned. "No, seriously!" she continues, insisting. "The only thing that can really go wrong like that is me passing out because I didn't get enough to eat. So I need sugar. Well, I guess I could always get a bad batch of insulin or something could go wrong with the pump, but I'd notice before it got that bad. That only happened once."

"Seems like a lot to keep track of."

"You get used to it. I mean, don't you take medications or vitamins or something?"

"So many that I'm amazed I don't sound like a baby rattle when I walk," I concede with a sigh. Chisato laughs and continues to eat.

We make some small talk between various food items, and the rest of the lunch period passes by quickly. We deposit our trash in the can, placing our trays – and Saki's – on the small counter next to it.

"You know," Chisato says as we make our way back out of the cafeteria and back into the hallway, "We're going into town today, but Saki and I were going to go into the city later this week. We had a few things to do, and I think she needed to pick up some things for her fish tank. You should come with us."

"Huh, hadn't thought of that," I say. "I just assumed I could get what I needed down in town." I haven't really been down to the town at the bottom of the hill Yamaku presides over, but I thought there might be a pet store, or at the least, one of the stores would sell fish food.

But then again, I don't know exactly what I would need. I've never had a pet before, even a goldfish.

"Nope," Chisato responds. "The Aura Mart sells some cat and dog food, but nothing for fish. You have to go to the city for that."

Well, it could be a nice chance to explore. And besides, I don't think I would object to spending some more time with these two. I enjoyed spending the first week and festival around them, after all.

"Alright," I say. "Just let me know what day."

It's interesting to analyze the strange mix of emotions that flood through me when I say that. I'm surprised that I said it in the first place, as I've always tended to be a little introverted. There's a feeling of relief that I said it, and also a realization I'm genuinely looking forward to it.

I've always been the type of person that has to focus on something in the future to keep me oriented. It can be something as far out as Christmas, or something as soon as the next day. And now that I have something happening in a few days, getting to that point is all the much easier.

That's one of the things that just absolutely crushed me in the hospital. There were milestones in my recovery, for sure...but you didn't know those happened until they were past. I think the only thing I ever really looked forward to in the hospital was the meatloaf on Thursdays. And even then, it was pretty bad.

I push those thoughts out of my head to save both my sanity and my gag reflex.

"We'll let you know when we figure it out!" Chisato says cheerily, starting to pick up her pace to outdistance my leisurely one. From the way she moves, it's clear she wants to make one or two more stops before going back to class. I watch her retreating back, my eyes drawn to the slight bump at her right hip.

"Oh!" she starts, turning around to face me after a few steps, while still continuing in the same direction. "Don't keep Saki _too_ long today." She gives me a wink.

"She's only giving me a bag of stuff, how long could that take?"

"Hmmm, who knows?" Chisato answers. She flashes me a sly grin and lowers her voice. "Maybe she'll want to help you set it up."

I stop and just stare at Chisato. My reaction seems to be the one she wanted to see, because she winks again and turns away with another laugh. She practically jogs down the hallway and turns at the end of it, leaving me standing there rubbing by temples.

"Great," I mutter to myself. "Here we go again."

It seems obvious that both Chisato and Saki like to tease everyone, including each other. Shizune seems to do this too, but unlike with her, there doesn't seem to be any type of challenging air or competition to it. It's not exactly annoying, but it's quickly becoming one of those quirky things you realize you're just going to have to put up with if you want to be friends with someone.

And yet, as I reach the staircase and start to make my ascent to my classroom, that strange mix of apprehension and excitement doesn't exactly get weaker after what Chisato said.

Pop quiz tomorrow. Focus on that instead. Study for that tonight.

And if that doesn't work, there's always a cold shower.


	6. Act 2: A Spoonful of Sugar

**Act 2: Countdown**

**Scene 2: A Spoonful Of Sugar**

In some small way, it's comforting I'm not alone in trying to settle in to a new home.

My first pet, the goldfish Saki gave to me yesterday, is swimming madly around his new bowl. He's learned to rear up the second before he hits the glass, but he's still wary about getting near the pink plastic plant and pirate treasure box anchored in the pink gravel at the bottom.

True to her word, Saki met me after class today. I had waited by my classroom door and she came wandering up with a plastic bag bulging at the sides. I could see there was obviously a bowl inside, but I didn't realize how much other stuff was involved in keeping a simple goldfish.

Saki had pulled me aside and very quickly went over all I needed to do, her eyes darting around looking for Mutou or any other staff that may have been close enough to hear. I remembered just enough of it by the time I got back to my room to figure out what I either didn't know or forgot.

My gaze shifts to the items on the desk next to the bowl. One small bottle of water additive. I added a capful to the bowl after I filled it and waited half an hour, per the instructions. Another small carton holds multicolored fish food. I take it and give it a gentle shake over the mouth of the bowl, causing a few flakes to settle on the surface of the water. He swims up to the surface and greedily goes after one a bit too large, tearing a chunk off and causing it to start to sink.

_He? _Come to think of it, I don't know why I automatically assumed the fish was a _he_. I mean, how can you even tell?

He stops swimming for a second and seems to stare straight at me, his gills pumping and fins motoring to hover in place. His head turns slightly from side to side, his large eyes scrutinizing me.

Eh, I have a 50/50 chance of getting it right. It's not like many people are going to know about this fish. And it's not like those who do will know enough to tell the difference, either.

I should probably give him a name at some point. What's a good name for a goldfish?

With a stretch that pops my back, my mouth opens in an involuntary yawn. I idly scratch at the back of my head, looking at the clock and pondering my options for the rest of the day. I don't have much classwork to do, seeing as how most of the teachers today were in the same shape as Mutou and the rest of the class. Maybe I should go down into town to become familiar with it. I only vaguely remember it from driving up the hill to Yamaku with my parents, and it can't be too far away if Saki manages the trip with her cane. Then again, even if it was difficult for her, I doubt she would let it show...

Maybe I should just go to bed early. Go to the library, find a book or two, come back and get a nice hot shower, and read for a while before catching up on sleep. Get a fresh start tomorrow.

Thinking of sleep reminds me of what Mutou said to me earlier today, about Nurse wanting to see me. I might as well get it out of the way. Nurse has been friendly, and I can tell he genuinely wants to help, but I get the distinct impression that he's not someone I want to start dodging.

* * *

I rap my knuckes on the door a few times before opening it a crack. "Hello...?"

Nurse's pleasant tone is muffled by the obstruction. "Come on in!"

I open the door fully and step inside. Nurse is seated in his chair, the contents of a folder spread out in front of him on his desk. He swivels in his chair towards me and makes eye contact.

"Ah, Hisao Nakai," he says by way of greeting. "Please, come in and have a seat. Give me just a second..."

I awkwardly make my way over to the chair across from him, and sit down. It doesn't matter how often these types of meetings take place; I always feel like I'm in some sort of trouble.

Nurse hastily puts everything back into the manilla folder, standing up and moving to a filing cabinet near his desk. A few seconds later, he's replaced the folder in his hand with another one. Curiosity gets the better of me, and I catch just enough kanji on the front to see that he now has my file in hand.

"Thanks for coming by," Nurse mentions, sitting down and opening the file on his lap. "I see Mutou passed on my message?"

"Y...Yeah," I answer, that uneasy feeling more present than ever.

"I'm glad you came here on your own. Otherwise I thought I'd have to send Emi to knock you out and drag you in," he responds with his trademark grin. "Don't worry, you're not in trouble or anything. I just wanted to go over what happened at the track in a bit more detail, now that it's been a few days." He takes a few sheets of paper and attaches them to a clipboard, grabbing the pen from behind his ear. "So," he asks, "Let's start with the basics. How are you feeling?"

"Not too bad," I say, trying to relax a little bit.

"Sources tell me you were out at the festival yesterday," he says. "How did that go?"

_"Sources?" _I blurt out. "You have _sources?"_

Nurse smiles. "Well, if you must know, I was a few people behind you in line when you were getting food. 'Sources' sounds so much more mysterious, though."

I shake my head and answer his question, but not before giving an exasperated sigh. "It went really well. I woke up a little late so I didn't see it when it first started, but I made it down and stayed until after the fireworks."

"Did you have a good time?"

"I did. It was a pretty good way to end my first week here."

"Good..._good,__" _he says, nodding and grinning. "Off the record here, but I always like to hope people make the transition here as smoothly as possible. I'm not going to drone on with a bunch of boring speeches about how important it is to get back on the wagon and fit in, because I know you've probably heard them a thousand times already. I'm just glad to hear you had fun. That's a lot better than most transfers do their first week."

The earnestness in which he says that, combined with that disarming smile, finally causes me to drop my guard a bit. Most of the doctors in my life the last few months have been fairly...impersonal. And those that have tried to take an interest in my well being seem to have no problem making the transition from telling me what I need to be doing medically to telling me what I should be doing in my personal life, such as it is. Smile, feel good, be happy I'm alive...all that stuff.

I only encountered it a small number of times in middle school, but there were a few teachers that legitimately cared about their students compared to the many that were simply there collecting a paycheck.

Here at Yamaku though, it's different. Every faculty member I've met so far, from Mutou to Yuuko to Nurse and everyone else, do seem to actually care. When one of them asks me how I'm doing, I get the distinct impression that not only are they asking because of the subject at hand, but they're also concerned about my well-being on a personal level.

"Thanks," I answer, giving a weak grin of my own.

"So, that being said," he says, twirling his pen idly in his fingers and glancing at the clipboard, "here comes the unpleasant part that nobody really enjoys when they talk to me."

I _knew_ it. I groan.

"Hey, don't be like that. You're not here to be harped on, well, much, anyway. I promise I'll have you out of here in a few minutes."

I nod. "Sorry."

"No offense taken. Everyone's a little tired and cranky after the festival. Speaking of which, I wanted to ask you how it went. I know you said you had fun, but I was wondering if you had any problems handling it from a physical aspect. Any chest pains, shortness of breath, that kind of thing?" Nurse asks, his pen poised to write down anything I might say to answer that question.

"I walked around a bunch, but I didn't have any problems with it." If anything, I'm surprised I didn't have any problems helping put together that stage. Some of those pipes were damned heavy.

He makes a note on his paper. "So besides what happened running on the track earlier this week, you haven't had any other issues?"

"No, none."

He makes another note. "Good," he says. "Coming out of a long, sedentary hospital stay is always a bit tricky. You never quite know how long it can take to adjust to being physically active again. And you seem to have been dropped in during one of the busiest weeks for students. How are your medications now that you're no longer chained to a bed? Any side effects or problems there?"

I'm glad he brought it up, because I wasn't quite sure how to ease into it. "Well, there is one thing I wanted to ask about," I answer. "I'm having some insomnia and I'm not sure if it's just from adjusting to everything going on, or if it's because of my medication..."

"Hmmm," Nurse replies thoughtfully, tapping his upper lip with the tip of his finger. "Either one of those could definitely be the culprit."

Thanks. That's really helpful.

"I was wondering if there was anything else I could be doing," I explain. "Maybe eat or drink something. I had thought about maybe taking a sleeping pill, but I thought it would probably be best to ask you about it first..."

"I'm glad you did," he says approvingly. "Bad things can happen when someone tries to self-medicate," he elaborates with another wink. "How bad is it?"

"It's been getting worse throughout the week. I've been waking up earlier and earlier and I can't seem to go back to sleep, even when I know I can get another hour or two."

"Never been an early riser?"

I shake my head.

Nurse makes another noncommittal noise, putting the pen behind his ear and flipping through the sheets on the clipboard once more. I see his eyes skimming the papers, stopping occasionally when they find whatever he's looking for. A few moments go by, a frown pulling down the corners of his mouth as he turns a few things over in his head.

"Well, this puts us in a bit of a quandary, Hisao. A low dosage sleeping pill might help, but that brings up some other problems."

"Go on," I say. I'm not sure I like where he's going with this.  
"Adding another medication to the list of pills you're already taking could cause issues, especially with the side effects that could pop up. For example, if we combine your beta blockers with sleeping medication, the combination of the two might lower your blood pressure too much."

Something about what he just said doesn't make sense. "I thought the less my heart was strained, the better."

Nurse puts the clipboard down at his desk and studies me for a few seconds. His gaze is piercing and I want to squirm. It's scary how he can let that aloof facade drop from time to time. Just those subtle hints make me truly want to never see this man's anger directed at me.

"The doctors who gave you your medication and instructions to take them. Did they ever explain why you were on those specific medications or what they do?"

"Yeah, they did."

"In _small_ words?"

I wince. They _did_ explain it to me, but the terms they used were so complicated it went right over my head. The only thing I really remembered was how many to take and how many times a day to take them.

Of course, my mood at the time probably didn't help at all.

"Not...exactly."

"Alright then," Nurse starts, picking up the clipboard and scrutinizing it. "You're on four main types of medications right now. The first is an antiarrhythmic. Those tend to slow down the heartbeat by impeding the electrical impulses in certain types of heart tissues. It keeps those areas of the heart from beating too fast so your heart actually pumps instead of just vibrating in your chest. With me so far?"

"That makes sense," I say, nodding.

"Alright. Those medications help to keep your heart working steadily. The other three are to make the work easier. You're on a calcium blocker, which stops calcium from getting into the cells of your heart and blood vessels. This relaxes those vessels so they're wider and allow blood to flow more easily. You're also on a beta blocker, which blocks adrenaline and keeps you calmer so you won't get stressed as easily and have another attack. Those two things work together to lower your blood pressure and keep your heart from working too hard."

Nurse looks over the top of the clipboard at me to make sure I'm following this. I nod again. I think I've heard this explanation before, but it wasn't put to me as simply as that. Even as I start to understand it better, I'm still not sure where a sleeping pill ends up throwing a wrench into it.

"The last medication you're on is a blood thinner that makes it harder for your blood to clot. I don't think you really need it, but then again, I'm not your doctor," he says with a smirk.

"Why do you think they have me on it then?" I ask, puzzled.

He furrows his brows and settles into a thinking pose. "Arrhythmia is a tricky thing. Once the immediate problem is identified, everyone with it responds to treatments differently. Anti-arrhythmic medications can be pretty temperamental. In some cases the wrong one can make it worse. So the idea with medical treatments is to basically throw everything at the wall and see what sticks. Modern medicine is great, isn't it? The blood thinner's a great example. It's standard procedure to give to patients with circulatory related issues to keep the whole system working as little as possible while they figure out what the real problem is. You had your attack, what...four months ago?" he asks, rustling papers as he searches for his answer.

"Four and a half," I correct him.

"According to this, the doctors are amazed you went so long without having any problems, right?"

"Lucky me," I say bitterly. I'm not enjoying this line of conversation. It's quickly draining the good vibes the last week has been building up in me.

"I see," Nurse muses, frowning again. "Well, right now you're in a kind of balance with your medication. What you're on right now seems to be working, but that doesn't mean the medication you're on could be the best combination for you. So your doctors want to take it slowly as you adjust back to normal life, and only make small changes to see how you react."

"Great," I say with absolutely no enthusiasm. "So, _that's_ why you're taking such a vested interest in my well being?"

All sense of humor drops from his face, as if a switch has been flipped. He looks at me sternly. "I care about the health of all the students in this school. If the students here can get better, I do everything I can to help them with that. I care about _your_ health too, Hisao. That way, at least _one_ person does." The expression cracks a bit as his smile starts to show. "But yes, I do have to check in with the puppetmasters from time to time."

"I'm sorry," I say, feeling embarrassed. "I didn't mean-"

He stops me with a wave of his hand. "It's alright. Don't worry about it," he says, completely back to normal, or whatever passes as normal for him. "Anyway, as I was saying. The blood thinner is probably unnecessary, but it's not up to me to make that call. But one thing your doctors and I are in agreement on is that you should be getting some light exercise."

I groan, remembering my run with Emi and the small episode it triggered. "I tried that, remember? It didn't go so well."

"The problem is, with all the medications you're on, they take a huge load off your heart but at the same time do nothing to actually strengthen or improve it. In fact, the cocktail of pills you swallow every day might end up being harmful in the long run because your heart might get too weak, not to mention the other side effects that might happen as you get older. Maybe jogging is a bit too much for you right now. Anyone who just spent four months in a hospital would probably have a hard time with it, regardless of if they had a heart problem or not," Nurse finishes.

"And trying to keep up with Emi didn't help either," I grumble.

This draws a laugh out of him. "No. I'm not allowed to show favoritism, but if I was, she's probably the fastest thing in this school. Don't even try to keep up with her, nobody else can." The easy laughter brightens my mood somewhat. Nurse's attitude is definitely infectious.

"What else would you recommend?" I ask. "If I can't go running, I'm not sure what else I can do."

Nurse looks thoughtful for a second. "You could try swimming. Doing laps can be a great workout without putting much strain on the body. We use swimming here for all types of therapies just for that reason."

"I could try that," I say hesitantly. "I'm...not much of a swimmer though, and...well..." I let my voice trail off as concern about my scarred chest permeates my thoughts. Nurse furrows his brow for a second, casts a quick glance to my chest, then seems to understand my uneasiness.

"Ah, the scar? Don't worry about it. You can wear a shirt if you want, as long as it's not a suit jacket or something. You could also go early in the morning, since you seem to wake up so early. There's only a few students who use the pool before classes start. It might help with your sleep problems, too."

The ease with which he seem to dismiss my concern as no big deal doesn't shame me as much as it would have a week ago. Instead, I'm starting to learn I shouldn't really chastise myself for these thoughts as much as I have been. While I'm making an effort to not have them as often, I realize that no amount of self reflection is going to take the place of time and experience. Talking with everyone this last week has shown me that.

And then another thought pops into my head.

"I don't own any swim trunks," I mention.

"Okay, now _that_ one you should worry about. I can't recommend you go wearing only a shirt to the pool," Nurse says with a mischievous smirk. "If you want, you can use your track shorts until you can get an actual pair. It's not like you're using them for track, right?"

No, I wouldn't be, would I? Not for lack of trying, though...

"The town has a few smaller stores but I don't think there's anywhere you could get a set of trunks," Nurse continues. "The city should have what you're looking for though."

My ears perk up. "That would work really well," I say. "I'm actually supposed to go into the city later this week with some friends."

_Friends?_The use of the word makes me pause. Would I actually call Chisato and Saki friends after only one week? After the festival, our morning walks, the fireworks, I realize I don't know as much about the two of them as I would like to.

And yeah. I would consider calling them friends at this point.

Nurse senses my mood and meets it with a look of amusement. "Good!" he exclaims enthusiastically. "That's another thing I was worried about. It's good to see you're being social."

I roll my eyes. "Oh come on, did my doctors ask you to put _that_ in my report too?"

He laughs. "No, that interest is purely selfish and personal." He turns his back to me as he unclips the papers and goes to put them back in my file. "There's a lot more to being healthy than just keeping your body in shape, you know."

I watch as he opens a cabinet above his desk, searching for something. He traces a few boxes and bottles with his fingers, finally pulling down a small container. "In all seriousness though, the powers-that-be are going to expect to see that you're getting exercise my report."

"Uh huh..." I say, hesitantly. I don't know exactly where he's going with this.

Nurse palms something from the box and puts it back in its place on the shelf before turning around to face me. He sits down in his chair again, crossing one leg over the other.

"Here comes the part I know you're not going to like, so I'll put this as plainly as I can, Hisao. Your doctors and I want you to get into some sort of workout routine. I know I sound like a broken record with this, but if you can't come up with something on your own, we may have to set you up with one of the physical therapy programs here at the school."

My jaw drops in shock. Before I can answer he continues.

"I said when you first came here that I didn't think you needed it, and I still don't. I understand that running with Emi didn't work out, at least not yet. So, I'll make you a deal." He holds up his hand, revealing a blisterpack with two small pills barely larger than grains of rice. "This is a very low dosage of sleep aid medication. If you promise me you'll go to the pool sometime tomorrow, I can let you try this out tonight, and we can see if it helps with your insomnia. A dose this low shouldn't interfere with your other medications, and you can come to me tomorrow after class and let me know how the medicine and the swimming both worked out. Deal?"

Oh god, anything to keep me out of therapy. I had enough of that while I was in the hospital. Long hours in bed moving my arms, or in what passed as the hospital's "gym." I considered it a personal victory when I didn't have to do that anymore.

"Alright," I say, holding out my hand for the pills. "I'll swing by the pool tomorrow morning." Nurse places the small packet in my palm. "That is, if I can wake up after taking these."

"That's what your alarm clock is for," he counters with a wink. "No excuses."


	7. Act 2: The Life Aquatic

**Act 2: Countdown**

**Scene 3: The Life Aquatic**

Standing in front of the mirror, looking at myself, I'm still not entirely sure how I got talked into this.

The room is typical of what I imagine most locker rooms are like. It's fairly small, a little larger than the size of one of Yamaku's normal restrooms but much smaller than the one at my floor in the dorm. There's two standard stalls, two showers, and the row of sinks along one wall. The lighting always seems to be perpetually dim, despite the glare of the fluorescent tubing. The floor is made up of tiles which always feel damp. They constantly feel cold against bare feet, until you step on one of the several metal grates spread around and realize how cold the floor really is.

There's also the smell. It's a musty mixture of chlorine, disinfectant, and moisture. You never find that smell anywhere else.

One wall has a bank of lockers, about half of which have locks on them. I found one that was unused, and stored the clothes I had changed out of when I came here.

Nurse and Saki both seemed right about not many people using the pool this time of day. I haven't seen anyone in the men's locker room. The only sound is the loud hum of an exhaust fan somewhere in the ceiling.

So here I stand, in my standard track outfit. Red shorts that don't even come down to mid thigh, and a white ringer shirt edged with matching red piping. The last time I wore this, it didn't go so well.

Towel slung over my shoulder, hair still a mess, I have to admit it; I look kind of ridiculous.

Part of me wants to just blow this off. But I did make a promise to Nurse, and when it comes to him, I have the feeling that the walls have eyes. I wouldn't be surprised if he knows everything that happens in this school. He may have spotted me at the festival himself, but I'm not taking any chances.

Besides, the sleeping pills _did_ help me last night. I didn't get any more sleep than I usually do, but the quality of the sleep improved. There's still a few cobwebs in my head, but I'm sure those will clear the second I hit the water.

Steeling myself, I walk down the short hallway and down half a dozen stairs into the pool room. The walls open around me, and I get my first look at the area.

The room is rather large, probably about four to five times the size of my classroom. Painted cinder-block walls brace up several wide windows near the roof, letting in enough natural light to soften the harsh tones of the ever-present artificial glow from the fixtures over my head.

The pool itself fills most of the room, dark tile lines designating lanes across the blue bottom. Stairs on one end are bracketed by silver handrails, and the other end has some sort of strange contraption with a plastic seat attached to a bunch of hydraulics. It doesn't seem that deep, only about a meter and a half or so.

There's also a small hot tub behind it near the wall.

I never went to many pools as a kid, but this pool looks like it's designed more for swimming laps. I guess it would be a very bad thing if the students that used it couldn't touch the bottom. I get a mental image of Emi trying to tread water and I snicker before I can help myself.

I'm the only one here at the moment. I know Saki comes here in the mornings since I've run into her a few times on her way back, but right now the time is a bit later than when we've met up, so I assume I already missed her.

It's not like I'm avoiding her for this. I didn't see her yesterday after my appointment with Nurse, but...

I look down to my shirt, pinching the fabric over my scar and pulling it out away from me. This stretches the neck out far enough where I can see the ugly raised scar that invades the surrounding skin.

I'm not sure I want to even take the shirt off yet. It may seem silly when you're swimming by yourself, but there's no guarantee that someone couldn't be walking in. And then it would seem even more strange to be seen by someone swimming by myself with my gym shirt on.

I sigh. No. Not yet. I can't do it yet.

I make my way down to the stairs and place my towel on a hook fastened into the wall for that very purpose. Turning to face the water, I place my hand on one of the railings and dip my foot in.

It's cool. Not cold, but cool. Any colder and it would send a shiver up my spine, but this...this is nice.

I slowly take a few steps in the pool, the water rising up my calves, knees, thighs...

Uh-oh.

As soon as the water hits the bottom of my shorts, I realize that I've made a horrible mistake. The fabric soaks up water almost as fast as I can blink, the coldness marching up my thighs all the way to my waistband. The entire shorts are soaked and I've only barely dipped them a few centimeters into the water.

That's not the worst part though. The worst part is that when the fabric becomes wet, it becomes clingy. Swim trunks have netting that...holds everything in place. Gym shorts...do not. And given that I treated these as swim trunks and didn't wear anything underneath...

Well, let's just say there's another reason I'm glad I'm the only one here.

Let's get this over with.

I swiftly half-fall, half-leap forward into the water, submerging myself completely and kicking off towards the far end of the pool. I'm down near the bottom, completely weightless as I propel myself forward, the surface of the water above me refracting light as the ripples from my entry spread out ahead of me.

I try to see if I can make it all the way to the other end of the pool. No chance. I shoot towards the surface, breaking clean and taking in a few huge gulps of air. I brush my hair back out of my face, and notice with shock that I didn't even make it halfway through the pool. With my feet on the bottom, the water comes up to my chest, and I can feel how heavy the shirt is once it's soaked.

I could blame that pitiful swim on the weight and drag, but deep down, I know that's not the case.

I let my legs go slack and I sink deeper into the water until I'm treading it. I could just float like this for a while, but the clock on the wall says that I don't have much time before I have to leave. I should probably do a few laps and ease into it. At least with the track I had Emi to guide me. Here, I'm on my own.

How hard can it be? I've seen it enough whenever the Olympics are on.

With another breath, I continue splashing down the length of the pool in what I hope is decent form like what I've seen on television. My arms windmill and push me forward, my legs kicking in time behind me. In what seems like no time at all, my hand slaps the concrete at the edge of the pool with a sting, causing me to turn around and push off the wall. I make the journey back, the bellows of my breathing the only sound in my waterlogged ears.

Keep at it.

One full lap. Let's go for another.

Two full laps. My lungs are burning from the effort. This is harder than I thought it would be, but this time I can pace myself instead of trying to race someone.

Three laps. Am I starting to get this tired already?

Four laps, and I'm already breathing almost as hard as I was on my run with Emi. I come to a stop and place a hand on my chest. My heart is beating faster and harder, but it's steady. Any more than this though, and I'd be pushing it.

That should be enough, at least for now. Maybe if I come back later in the week, I can do a few more.

I stretch out on my back and float on the surface, feeling my heartbeat slowly return to normal as my body relaxes. This is so much better than running. When you get tired, you don't have to hold up the weight of your body or worry about overheating. There's a lot more prep work than with running, since you have to have a set of clothes merely to get from the dorm to the pool, unless you change into your school uniform in the locker room. Plus you'd have to carry everything you need to take a shower like soap and-

"Hisao? Is that you?"

Both the voice itself and the fact it's calling my name startle me out of my thoughts. I instinctively try and sit upright, however with nothing underneath me, my body folds and my head goes under. There's a second of panic as my nose is filled with chlorinated water, and I finally get my feet under me. I start coughing the second my head breaks the surface.

My hand goes to my nose as I blow it to try and clear it. Damn, that _stings..._

"Are you alright?" the voice says again, from behind me.

"Y...yeah, I'm fine," I manage to splutter out as I turn to find the source of it, slicking my hair back again to try and regain some of my lost dignity. I have another shock when I see who it is...and what she looks like.

"Saki? What are you doing here?"

Saki stands at the bottom of the stairs leading down into the pool area, with a bemused look on her face. Her hair, nearly blonde in the morning light, is pulled back into a ponytail high on the back of her head, causing the honey colored strands to brush just past the nape of her neck. She's wearing a black one-piece with design more for utility than fashion with a higher neckline, but still a very fitting cut that hugs every curve of her body. Even though the amount of light it drinks doesn't allow for more than a suggestion of the figure beneath, her long shapely legs are on full display, a set of black sandals on her feet.

That she's holding her cane as usual in one hand and draping a towel over the other arm does nothing to detract from how amazing she looks.

I take a second...okay, maybe a bit more than a second...to take it in. I've never seen her in anything but her normal school uniform, and to go from that to_ this_...it's more than a little alluring. The sudden, quick flush I feel despite the coolness of the water is proof of that.

"I was about to ask you the same thing," she says, after a very short, yet very poignant pause. That snaps me back to reality, and with horror I just _know_ that she saw me staring. And then with even more terror, I realize her eyes are giving me the same appraisal, but I can't read anything but mild surprise as they widen.

"Are those...is that a track outfit?"

This is the first time she's seen me in anything different. And I'm sure the outfit and circumstances are leaving an absolutely wonderful impression.

"Y-yeah," I reply nervously. "You see, Nurse said I should get some exercise and running with Emi didn't work out so he told me I should go swimming-" and I realize I'm rushing to explain because I'm embarrassed that you just caught me gawking at you and this is me trying desperately to take both our minds off it but I don't think it's working "-but I don't own anything to swim in so I thought I could just swim in this until I was able to get something..."

I stop to take a breath, and she's laughing. Not just the light airy laugh I've come to know from her the last week, but a hard laugh that causes her to clutch at her stomach and lean over, almost in a way I would expect of Misha. I'm left with a look of pure confusion, because I don't know why she's laughing or what her laughter is directed at.

"_Nurse_ put you up to this?"

"He didn't put me up to it, he _blackmailed_ me into it," I say defensively.

"I _did_ warn you," Saki admonishes, her glee showing no signs of fading, "that he has a reputation around here."

"No kidding," I agree dejectedly, sinking down into the water up to my chin trying to make myself as small as possible. Saki's laughter finally dies down as she hangs up her towel, taking something small and black from its folds that I didn't notice earlier. She makes her way to the edge of the pool, sitting down with her legs dangling in the water.

"Why are _you_ here?" I ask. "I mean, I know you try to go swimming every morning but I thought you would have been done by now."

"Chisato and I didn't get back from town until late last night," she offers as explanation. She places her cane down on the concrete and shakes out the small black bundle.

It's a swim cap.

"I slept in a little too late. I guess I'm still tired from the festival," she admits, taking her tail and stuffing it into the cap with the ease of repetition. She pulls it from the back of her head to the front, snapping it down just below her hairline. A quick smooth motion with her fingers to tuck in the sides, and her hair is completely hidden underneath.

Saki pushes off with her hands and slides into the pool with barely a splash, sinking up to her neck. When she stands back up, the fabric of her suit has gotten even darker if such a thing were possible, and beads of water that haven't been absorbed are dripping down her arms and the curves of her chest.

"What?" Saki asks innocently, but the mischievous glint in her eyes gives her away. It's very similar to the same look she gave me from the stairs the first day I met her, or the one she gave me when I asked her about her condition at the festival.

It's a look that says she knows she looks good, I know she looks good, and she knows I know she looks good.

It's a look made up of equal parts self satisfaction, curiosity, and encouragement.

It's a look that places all the attention in the world on you, as if to say "Now, what will you do?" And unlike with Shizune, the unspoken question doesn't seem to challenge, but to encourage you to push your own comfort zones and boundaries to respond.

I'm wearing gym clothes in a pool being interrogated by a beautiful girl in a swimsuit who knows she's having an effect on me, and enjoying it.

This is about as far out of my comfort zone as I can be.

"Just wondering why you decided to put a cap on."

If she were to counter, I would have nothing left. I used an entire weeks worth of mental focus to be able to get those words out in a steady voice, and my mind is sending me panic signals telling me there's no batter on deck.

Saki has me dead to rights, and to my relief, she decides to let it go and answer my question without appearing to give it a second thought.

"Ugh, and have to deal with chlorine in my hair every day? Swimming once or twice a week is fine, but when you do it every day it damages your hair, and besides, the shampoo I like is way too expensive to use for that."

"Oh," I say, leaning back to float. If I make a habit of this in the morning, I wonder if I'll run into the same problem. Just another ball to juggle in my head.

"So how did Nurse get you to do this?" Saki asks me, stretching from side to side.

"He told me he'd tattle on me if I didn't get any exercise, then they'd have to put me in therapy," I say darkly. I mean, logically everything he said made perfect sense, but it just doesn't sit right.

"Therapy's not so bad. I go twice a week. That's what they use that room for," Saki explains, nodding towards a set of windows opposite where the sun is shining. "It's not exactly fun, but you do what you have to."

I look down at my shirt, the neckline of which is already stretching due to the weight of the water it's soaked up. I guess we do.

"You have therapy, you have art club, you have band, and you still find time to swim every morning," I comment. "Where do you find the time to do all this?"

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm doing horribly in all my classes," she says while laughing. "I know Mutou and Miyagi have completely given up on me, and so have most of my other teachers, I think. There's only so many hours in a day, and I spend enough of them sitting behind a desk, so I don't really study that hard."

I watch her as she starts to tread water. "How do you pick your priorities? I mean, you have a lot on your plate. I don't think I would have even done this if I wasn't pressured into it."

"I just do the things that I'm good at and help me to be happy," she answers, as if it's the most natural thing in the world. Hearing someone dismiss all responsibility like that is rather shocking. "I spend more time after school in the music room now with Mrs. Sakamoto. I think even Nomiya's had it with me too."

I can understand the violin, because she's absolutely amazing at it. The swimming, however, kind of puzzles me. She mentioned she goes to therapy during the week, so why does she swim every day?

"You spend a lot of time swimming too. I mean, that doesn't look like a cheap suit and I don't think I've ever known anyone who had their own cap."

"Why thank you. You're right about the suit. Not many people can tell just from a...look."

Oh damnit. My face turns red. She didn't let me off the hook after all.

_"__Alright,__" _I say, rubbing my temples in embarrassed exasperation. "Yes, I was looking, okay? I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she replies in a light, airy tone. "It's actually kind of flattering. It's nice to see someone not focusing on the cane for once," she finishes with a smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth.

I shouldn't be surprised at that statement, but I am. Because first of all, this is Yamaku, and second of all, anyone who would see her like this probably wouldn't even notice she had a cane...

I need to change the subject.

"How _do_ you manage to have any free time?" I ask in an attempt to do just that.

"I don't, really," she answers, her voice a little more resigned. "Between the violin and the art club and everything else...I don't have as much time as I want."

_I don't have as much time as I want._

Something about the way she said that seems...off. I don't know why, and if you asked me to explain it, I couldn't. There may have been a subtle tone shift in her voice, or her eyes flickered away from mine for a second when she says it, or her shoulders might have sagged ever so slightly.

And then, something in my mind clicks.

Every little bit of information I've learned so far about Saki has been painting a picture. I haven't actively thought about it much, since it's been like putting a puzzle together when you can't see the printed sides of the pieces or even know how many pieces those are. But just for a second, hearing those words and the way she says them gives me a glimpse at what those pieces represent as part of the whole.

_I don't have as much time as I want._

_As long as I can play the violin, I'm happy._

_I'm here because I have a degenerative disorder._

_I take medications that help with the symptoms, but no cure._

I don't know anything about the condition she has. But I've done enough reading, spent enough time in the hospital, to know what the word _degenerative_ means. The conversation flowed so smoothly when she mentioned it that I didn't think on it when she said it.

It's not going to get better.

I feel an emotion I haven't felt since I was in the hospital, the second day after my surgery. I was finally coherent enough to listen to what the doctor had to say. My parents stood off to the side for support, but it just felt like they were watching my reactions. As the man in the white coat calmly spoke about arrhythmia, heart attacks, surgery, and what it meant for someone's life expectancy, it was like I wasn't even there.

I was watching it from far away. I was standing in the room, next to my parents, listening as this man had to explain to this young kid in a hospital bed why his life as he knew it was over.

_Poor kid._

I've been angry and sad at the world the last few months, and I've also been angry at and sad for myself as well. But I wouldn't have described any of what I felt as _pity_. And that's exactly what I feel now.

I hate myself when that feeling applied to me. I hate myself even more when I apply it to others.

Saki must have picked up on the silence, if not the reason for it. She jars me out of my thoughts.

"So Hisao, did you do much swimming before you came to Yamaku?"

"Not much," I thankfully answer. "There was a public pool near where I lived, but it was always crowded. I didn't really go that much."

"What about the beach?" Saki asks, her eyes brightening as she mentions it.

"I've only been once, when I was really little. We took a day trip and enjoyed it. Mom had always said we would go back, but it never happened and when they both got promotions a few years ago, there just wasn't any time."

"It's a lot of fun, you should go again if you ever get the chance," Saki says, swimming backwards away from me towards the far end of the pool. She glances up at the clock near the end. "I hate to be rude, but I really need to try and get in a few laps this morning before class..."

"Oh, don't mind me," I say, making sure to move off towards one side so she has plenty of room. Saki smiles at me, and suddenly, there's a series of splashes as she takes off towards the opposite end. She reaches it there much faster than I did, and I don't think it's just because she's wearing a swimsuit while I'm wearing something much heavier.

I watch her as she moves, turning around and kicking back. There's the same type of grace she has when walking, only magnified. There's a purpose in her movements, and an elegance in the way she glides through the water. Even if I had proper attire, there's no way I would be able to do that.

Whether it's machismo or embarrassment, I decide I've spent enough time looking at Saki in her swimsuit for now and try to get a few more laps in. I start paddling for the far end of the pool.

Saki completes a dozen laps in the time it takes me to do another four. The last two really caught me breathing hard, but I know that's no excuse for me being completely outpaced.

"You'll never be able to keep up if you keep wearing that!" Saki says playfully as she sits on the pool stairs, most of her body out of the water. She kicks a leg at me, splashing me. "We'll have to get you something when we go to the city. We're still on for that, right?"

Ah, the city! I was so preoccupied with everything else going on this morning it totally slipped my mind.

"Absolutely. What day were you thinking?"

"This weekend. There's a few other things we need to do though while we're there...I hope you don't mind?" Saki asks tentatively.

"Like what?" I say, guardedly. I'm game for anything, but Saki and Chisato like to tease me enough when we get together here at the school. The thought of the two of them doing it away from the school and me a captive audience...

"We're going with Mrs. Sakamoto. We're working on...well, there's a project." she explains, enthusiastic but just a bit...embarrassed? No, that's not quite right...but it's a little uncharacteristic.

"What kind of project?"

"It's...music related," Saki hesitantly offers, standing up out of the pool completely, water streaming off her pale legs. "Ms. Sakamoto is helping us, um...record some stuff."

This sparks my interest. "What, like for an album?" I ask as Saki grabs her towel and starts to dry herself off.

"No. Yes. Well, maybe. We haven't really decided yet." she says, avoiding my eyes as she works the rough fabric over her skin. I don't think I've ever seen her uncomfortable like this, but then again she was the one who brought it up.

I have my own struggles that I have a hard time discussing. I don't have any idea as to why, but I'm getting this exact same vibe from Saki at the moment. I can't relate to the reason, but I can definitely relate to that feeling.

She'd probably continue on if I pressed the issue, but I can tell she doesn't really want to. It's probably best to leave it be for now.

"Sounds like fun," I say, trying to cheer her up the same way she's done with me. "So, we're making a day of it then?"

My words have the desired effect as her face returns to its normal thousand watt smile. "Yeah. It will be you, me, Mrs. Sakamoto, Chisato, and Noriko if she wants to come. We'll do what we need to, go shopping, then probably all have dinner together before coming back to the school. How's that sound?"

I didn't expect that there was going to be a teacher chaperoning us, but despite that it does sound like a good time. I'm looking forward to it, but for a spur of the moment excursion on my part, it's starting to sound like it may be a bit pricey. My parents do send me an allowance, but since I just got here I haven't had a chance to start saving some of it away.

"Well," I start, rubbing the back of my neck. "I guess it depends on how much a set of swim trunks costs. Plus I need to buy the stuff for the fish, so money might be a bit tight..."

"Hey, I gave you the bowl and everything he needs," Saki says. "You just need to get some food and things for his water."

I make my way to the stairs at the end of the pool and start to drag myself out. "Look, I'm sorry, but I just can't deal with that pink. I _can_ deal with only being able to afford instant ramen if I have to."

At this, Saki lets out a chortle but quickly stifles it. "I think it's a great color! But yeah, I guess the pink gravel's just not manly enough, is it?" she says, looking at me with a twinkle in her eyes and her hand hiding her mouth. I can see her shoulders shaking as she's trying not to burst out again.

Seeing as how I'm drenched in a track outfit that's absorbed so much water it's stretching out to half again its normal size on my frame, I'm sure I'm exuding the absolute essence of what it means to be manly.

Roll with it.

"Of course," I say. "He needs something like black, or grey, or red. Powerful colors. If someone finds him, I at least want them to be impressed. Maybe I'll get into less trouble." My words, spoken proudly, are punctuated by the loud splattering of very fat water droplets practically streaming off me and onto the floor.

Saki loses her fight to maintain her composure and doubles over, laughing hard. She ends up sitting on one of the benches near her for support.

I try to keep up the bravado as I make bold, confident strides towards my towel hanging on the rack, but the corners of my mouth are quivering, threatening to split into a grin at any moment at how absurd it all is.

"Alright," Saki says, brushing a small tear out of the corner of her eye and trying to breathe normally. "We'll make sure to get him something that won't embarrass you."

While we're on the subject of embarrassing, the cold air against my thighs makes me remember what gym shorts do when wet. Thank god I've already got my towel in my hand and my shirt has stretched down past my waist. I know I look ridiculous, but well...let's just say it could be worse.

"Speaking of manly, have you figured out what kind of swim trunks you're planning to get?" Saki asks.

Jesus, how does she _do_ that?

"No..." I say, toweling off my hair, hoping to hide my face for the few seconds it will take to get my blushing under control. "Probably just something standard."

"You know," she says, "it can be pretty important if you're going to be doing this often. The same company that makes my suit makes one for guys too."

I glance over Saki again without trying to make it too obvious. "Does it fit like yours?"

"Maaaaybe," she answers me with that casual teasing tone. I imagine myself trying to swim in something that basically resembles a pair of boxer briefs...and it's not a good image.

"I'll pass, thanks. I have enough issues with my self image."

"You're not _that_ bad," Saki says, eyeing me up and down and being completely unashamed of doing it. But then again, I did give her an excuse. "Well, for someone who just spent a few months in the hospital anyway."

"It's not like I had a say in it," I reply sardonically. As soon as I say it, I wince. That came out a bit harsher than I thought it would. "Sorry."

"No, I mean it," Saki reiterates. "Were you in any sports clubs before you came here?"

"I played soccer with some friends once in a while..."

"Well don't worry. You look fine. Swim for a few weeks and you're only going to look better."

"Emi said the same thing about running," I answer, reaching down to dry off my legs. Seeing as how there's still water dribbling off of my shorts, it seems a bit futile.

"Oh come on," Saki playfully says. "You know running isn't exactly my thing, so how do you think I'm able to keep this amazing body?" she asks, twisting towards me seductively, pushing her chest out and running a hand down her thigh. As she finishes those words, she also lowers her eyelids in a sultry stare.

The effect is instantaneous. I'm not sure what happens first, either my eyes going wide or my face turning as red as my track shorts.

Saki breaks the spell just as fast as she casts it, laughing at my reaction, her cheeks flushed. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

Do that again without me expecting it and you may just give me another heart attack. "You _do_ know exactly what you're doing, don't you?"

She takes the swim cap off and shakes her head, causing her ponytail to spring free. A few stray strands have come out giving her a slightly disheveled look, but it's one she wears very well.

"Yep." she affirms. "Told you I have no shame." She starts to towel off her arms. "But swimming really does work well for me. I need something that works out the full body, and this is a lot more fun than lifting weights or doing situps." Saki turns completely towards me and makes eye contact, with the same seriousness she pinned on me at the festival. "You really should stick with it."

I think about it for a moment.

"You do this every morning, huh?" I ask.

"Mhmm," she affirms again, looking at me with a slight hint of expectancy.

I think about it for another moment. An extremely short moment.

"Alright, if you can put up with me wearing this until this weekend," I say, looking down at my shirt. You can see the color of my skin in a few areas where the wet fabric rests against my body, but the scar on my chest fortunately isn't raised enough to be seen like that.

"Good!" Saki says, reaching down to her left side, then frowning in puzzlement. She looks at the floor around her, then over towards the edge of the pool where her cane is still laying on the ground. "Oh shoot, I left it over there...Hisao, can you please get my cane for me?"

"Sure," I say, draping my towel over my shoulders. I stand up and walk over to it, bending down to retrieve it. By the time I make it back to where Saki is, she's already standing with her sandals on.

"Thanks," she says, taking it from me. "Ugh, I'm going to have to go straight from here to class. I hate it when I have to do that."

A quick glance at the clock at the far end of the room confirms that I'll have to be moving really fast to make it myself. I mentally start counting the time in my head. A few minutes to dry off and change, then across to the dorm to change into my school uniform, but that doesn't leave any time for a shower...

"Crap," I mention. "First time doing this, I didn't bring my uniform with me. I still need to run back."

"You better get going then," Saki says, as we walk back towards the entrance of the locker rooms as quickly as we can safely manage with the wet floor and her cane. When we reach it and climb the small stairway, Saki stops and turns to face me.

"Bright and early tomorrow then?" she asks.

"Bright and early," I reply. I shouldn't have any problem getting to bed early tonight, as the only thing I really need to do is go see Nurse again and let him know how this morning went.

And I can tell him that it went surprisingly well.

With a final wave to each other, she turns away and I do the same. The cold tile is under my feet as I round the corner in a few long strides, and I'm frantically stripping down to finish drying before I'm even in front of the locker I stashed my clothes in. I towel myself off furiously, trying to make sure I get everything dry enough to not have my clothes stick to me when I put them on.

It only takes a few minutes before I'm dressed in very casual clothing. All I could think to grab was normal pants and an undershirt. It may not have been a problem walking to the pool because it was so early, but now with students and faculty walking around campus because class is about to start, I'm sure to get a few strange looks.

Eh, let them look. If Nurse has as many spies around the school as everyone thinks he does, then word should get back to him and he won't be able to doubt me.

That settles it. Tomorrow, I'm bringing my uniform and just showering here. If nobody uses the pool this time of day, then I know I won't run into Kenji or anyone else who might use the shared dorm bathroom.

I brought a plastic bag to carry my wet clothing back to the dorm, so I hastily wrap the shirt and shorts into the towel and stuff the whole bundle inside. Maybe one of my undershirts would be better for this, or I might just go shirtless in the morning.

Yeah, right.

Regardless of what I decide to do about the shirt, I don't have any options about the track shorts until I can buy a suitable replacement, so I resign myself to wearing them again the next day.

But I'm definitely going to be wearing something underneath them.


End file.
